Thursday, 22 October 2009

Am I a Scary Mummy?

There's a blogger from across the pond who goes by the name of Scary Mommy. Between you and me I think she's a little pussycat, but shhhhh....don't tell her I said that.

Anyhoooo, she's running a competition to see if she can find the Scariest Mommy or (Mummy) out there.

So, never one to shy away from a challenge, especially one as fabulous as this, I have decided to throw down the gauntlet...

But, firstly, you may ask, what defines 'Scary'?

Well, Scary Mommy herself defines it as...

....a mother who doesn’t leave the house wearing lipstick at all times.

So, yep, that'll be me then. Don't actually own any lipstick. I know, I know. It always seems just a little 'too much'.

...a mother who loves her kids to death, but will admit to feeling totally overwhelmed and exhausted by the gig.

Hello??? My middle name is exhaustion.

...a mother who doesn’t really care what other people think.

If I cared, I'm sure I would never have told you about the grey pubic hairs.

...a mother who thinks that all mothers win when we admit our weaknesses.

Did I mention that weakness was my other middle name?

So, there you go. Having established, that yes, I am the Scariest of scary mothers, how do I go about winning this thing?

Well, I have to submit a post by today (nothing like leaving it a little on the late side - further evidence that I am indeed very Scary), proving that very thing - that I am SCARY with a capital 'S'.

Now regular readers of this blog will have already read this one (well I did only write it three weeks ago). If I say the word 'massage', does that ring any bells? If not, then read on.

So here goes. Is this Scary enough for you, Scary Mommy?


And apparently Scary Mommy will take into account, when choosing the winner, the comments left at the end of the please lovely readers of my I not the Scariest of Scary Mummies???



  1. Hell yes! Grey pubes, no lipstick ... you woman are the stuff nightmares are made off!

  2. SCARY!! Grey pubes, no lippy, prickly legs, farting at the drop of a hat (!) and....drumroll...Dadada!! Eating POO under the misapprehension it's choccy biscuits....You SO win scary lady!

  3. Scary? You? Hell yes! (Was that good enough, you cupcake, you?)

  4. Mrs OMG - Thanks sweetie. I owe you one x

    Brighton Mum - Now how on earth did I forget that? Phew, thanks for bringing the eating poo up - I'm even more scary now you've mnetioned it. I can relax now. But better not relax too much - you never know what might happen!! Ahem...

    Potty - Shhhh....don't let on that I'm really a cupcake! Don't believe her people. I'm so Scary even my own husband has to sleep with the light on...

  5. You scare me. The scariest thing was that picture of that enormous turd in your toilet.

  6. Oh My God woman, you are a nightmare!

    Sort yourself out, you big scary momma you!

    Love RMxx

  7. Given those criteria, yes you are definately scary. I am very scary too!

  8. I was almost too scared to even leave a comment. You certainly should win!! (am I in time? I didn't even check the date!) :-)

  9. You *ARE* the Scary Momma ;) Glad I'm not alone with grey everywhere (even in my bloody eyebrows now!!) and no lippy - not sure where mine is or has been for about 7 year??? Go girl!! x

  10. Maddie - Oh I know - I'm still sorry about that photo (I hope I didn't scar you for life) xxx

    RM - I'll only accept the award if you come with me...x

    Rosie - Thanks honey! And yes, I think half of British Mummies are very very scary (much more than their American counterparts). I think we should both win for that fact alone.

    ibhh - It's ok - I'm scary, but for you I'll be a pussycat ;-)) And yes, you are in time (I owe you one). Kisses lovely lady xxxx

    Liz - Yep, grey eyebrows are plucked out on a daily basis - I'm surprised I have any left! And as for lipstick, well I want to wear it, but it's just not me! A smidge of vaseline? Now you're talking! x

  11. Oh, my God, LOL- the gray public hairs made me laugh. Now, that's a scary image, indeed!!

    So glad you linked up- I loved this!

  12. I thought I was scary but boy you beat me everytime!!! although I too have my grey pupe story (as of yesterday!!) and, I have to point out that as they were mentioned you and your post popped into mind!!

  13. Not sure about scary but you are, as ever, completely bloody funny.

  14. HA HA HA HA HA HA. I missed that one. Husband gave me a gift certificate of a massage MEMBERSHIP where I could go and get one once per month. He couldn't understand why I didn't go and get them all. I need to send him this post.
    Too chillingly close for comfort. I would have laughed but I think I am your 'friend'

  15. Yep, I remember that post - I think you've just nailed the position of Scariest Mummy!

  16. That was a very scary image... and thank you for my award! x

  17. Scary Mommy - Thanks for stopping by. Great competition - I loved being involved!

    our private blog - How funny!!! And there you were thinking that they'd never come. I'm sorry for you honey, but so happy that I'm not the only freak around! xxx

    Sparx - Love you wonderful lady x

    mothership - Ha ha ha. Yes, I din't like to tell anyone that I was writing about you, but now you've mentioned it...

    Working Mum - Thanks sweetie - but can you believe I didn't? Apparently there was someone scarier than me! I hard to believe!

    Liz - No problem honey x