Tuesday, 2 February 2010

How to extract a baked bean from a nostril

Isn't it funny what makes you happy?

They say it's the little things.

They could be right.

I've been feeling miserable you see. A bit sad. A bit overwhelmed by all sorts of things.

And to be honest, a bit annoyed that Edie's cot sold for a measly £19.99 to someone who then declared that it wasn't even for her and that she was intending to sell it on (for a higher price) when all I really wanted was for it to go to a good home.

C'est la vie I suppose.

But today my spirits have been lifted by something rather small.

Tiny even.

A baked bean.

And d'you know what? I don't even like baked beans.

But there you go. Sometimes your greatest nemesis provides you with your grandest triumph.


Tonight's supper...

Lasagne, brussel sprouts, baked beans.

I know. It's an odd combination, but there you go. Edie loves brussel sprouts, Renée loves baked beans and they're both indifferent to lasagne, but every now and then it's worth a try.

Five minutes into the meal...

Sudden screaming.

"Mummy...Edie's got a baked bean stuck up her nose."


In another life I would have had visions of hospitals, doctors, tweezers, stress.

But not in this life.

Oh no.

Because I am 'Mother-who-knows-how-to-extract-baked-bean-from-nostril-even-if-it's-jammed-really high-up'.

You see, sometimes I listen to friends.

Ahem, sometimes not.

Turns out that when Veronica told me what to do when you get a bead stuck up a child's nostril, I happened to be listening.

And if you're reading this and you don't know, then read on...and concentrate. Because this is what I did.

I closed the, erm, baked bean-free nostril with one hand, opened Edie's mouth with the other and blew.


A big, sudden puff.

And d'you know what happened?

The baked bean shot across the room like a bullet.


I CAN NOT tell you how chuffed I was.

This might give you some idea.

I did a lap of honour around the sitting room, waving my arms like an albatross as I went.

And now I'm smiling a big, big smile.

Like I said, it's the small things that make a difference.

And PS - if you've commented on my previous few posts I apologise for not having replied. I promise I will...asap x


  1. Thank you so much for telling me that. I shall rank it up there with very useful things I've learnt in the last year, which also includes how to catch crabs.

    Sorry to hear you've not been having a good time lately x

  2. I've extracted a Starburst wrapper from way up high in my daughters nostril with a pair of tweezers, the whole wrapper folded teeny tiny and shoved right up! (we were at the end of a VERY long car journey and she had obviously got very bored & made her own entertainment)
    Another time my hubby extracted a stone from our other daughters nose!
    What is it with these kids?

  3. A good tip, especially as i just found some heinz beans in lidl today (a rare treat out here).

    will story it among the cobwebs and other bits of trivia in the old brain.

  4. Oh my goodness that rocks!! I like the special Meternal Tales patented celebration. I think I would have done some kind of wiggly dance.

    I shall DEFINITELY remember that one. Because Kai has the look of a child that will forever shoving things up his nose.

    Sorry you've been feeling a bit low lovely. That stupid cot person deserves to have a bird poo on their head.


  5. Damn, wish I would have known that....I did it backwards and sucked it out of the nostril! Yuck!

  6. I am so glad I found your blog, I know for a fact I am going to retain that information and I also have a sneaking suspicion it's going to come in handy one day.

    I know how you feel about the cot. We sold Ruby's first pram, a Silver Cross, to someone who casually remarked they were only using it for a week, then dumping it. It was only used for a little bit. It was all I could do not to claw it back off him, cradle it in my arms and say, "But, but, THAT WAS MY BABY'S FIRST PRAM! DON'T YOU GET IT?!"

  7. Just for you, an alternative title:

    Bean Shoots


  8. Fantastic! That's the sort of first aid that I will definitely remember in an emergency!!

    Hope your big smile continues x

  9. Oh wow. There should be a bizarre children's first aid carnival. I will remember that, definitely. But can't remember most of what I learnt on mini first aid class, or in all the first aid chapters I've edited. But I will remember that.

    Rosemary swallowed a pound coin the other week. She was actually choking on it when I was talking to my Gran on the phone. So hung up and then thought (very quickly) 'Fuck! I have Eleanor in the sling, how the fuck do you do the Heimlich manoeuvre with a baby in between?' Shouted, 'Chris! Come here. NOW!' and then she swallowed it. It may still be there. We glanced at her poos for a few days after but never saw it.

    Hope you're feeling OK. My phone numbers on FB. Call if you need to chat.

  10. I intend to stick a baked bean up my daughter's nose tomorrow just so I can try out your trick! Well done you!

  11. My mouth is open wide! Is that really what you do? How clever are you?! What happened to the bean, as a matter of interest? Did Edie eat it??

  12. That is genius. I'm just in awe.

    Also - Tasha - is it very wrong that I laughed a lot at that story?

  13. Blimey that's put me off my dinner...

  14. Ah that could be a very useful tip! Maybe she did it as she was trying to get out of eating the sprouts ;)

    Mel xxx

  15. Brilliant! Well done! I'll have to remember this. I think I have one or two who seem like the type to shove stuff up their noses ...

  16. I am going to bring this up at my next coffe morning. Brilliant!

  17. Does Edie know not to do it again? When my daughter was little she put a piece of sweetcorn up her nose. We ended up at the doctors - I wasn't as clever as you - and after about 30 minutes we were about to go off to hospital when luckily at his last attempt the doctor managed to remove it. He told Emily not to do it again and she replied "No I won't, next time I'll use peas!"

  18. Blogging - you learn something new every day. I'm glad it made you smile, sounds like you needed it. Big hugs honey xx

  19. I sit here amazed! You really kept your cool - it's one thing knowing what to do, but another to actually put it into practice!

  20. Am committing that tip to memory... and hoping that I don't ever have to use it! Good to see you back and sorry you've been feeling down Lovely. My image of you is always so smiley so I hate to think of you sad xxx

  21. OH MY GOD - that is FANTASTIC! I've never had to do this yet, but now I will be forewarned if I ever do... thanks!

  22. Genius - grand tip, and one I maybe should have known when oldest son taught youngest son to fire corn kernels from your nose. Only youngest didn't fire, just inhaled... and got stuck... and ended up in hospital with 4 doctors attempting retrieval...

    PS - *sympathy* on cot. Hate that. I was depressed for two days when I sold my beloved 3-wheeler pushchair to a man whoweanted it to trek rugby kit across a muddy field...

  23. Brilliant, what a great tip! Not sure I would have thought of that myself. Sorry to hear you've been feeling fed up. I would have paid you more for your cot, I think we might need another one soon as we sort sleeping arrangements in this house. Next time don't put it on eBay, put it on your blog! xx

  24. Great blog! You so totally rock! It happened to me once and I did not know your trick...I managed to get a tiny bit of pepper on my hand (like snuff) and my ltttle girl sniffed it and sneezed the offending bean out...MUCH prefer your way

  25. Wow that is an awesome thing to know. Thank you very much. Great post from a great mum. xx

  26. Now that's a handy hint that should be in all the parenting books!

  27. I once got part of a toy car stuck up my nose. It took two days in hospital and general anaesthetic to get it out. I'm proud to have been such a troublesome child!

  28. oh i will be remembering that tip!! I hope you feel better soon, i'm in the same boat at the mo, with hormones and such. Take care sweetie xxxxx

  29. LOL...sounds a lot easier than treking to three hospitals looking for a specialist capable of removing the bean from my daughter's nose. Baked beans are dangerous things to get stuck up the nose! It was the third thing she put up there...she never did it since! Well done!

  30. That will forever be in my memory now. Actually, theres a tiny part of my brain looking forward to the day I have to try it out.

    I'm tempted to stick a bean up the Mr's nose to practice...

  31. That is the most useful piece of information I've digested (in a non-baked bean kind of way) today. Thanks - and love your blog!

  32. I never would have thought of that. Top parenting tip.

  33. It's true, you DO learn something new every day. Is it bad to half want it to happen so I can test the manoeuvre out?

  34. Now that is Mummy magic in action !!!

  35. That is awesome!!!

    Working in the Children's hospital when I was in my 20s I was early in for work once and had to wait on a bench outside A&E with a small boy, who looked at me for a while and then proudly announced "I HAVE A BEAN UP MY NOSE!" I laughed quietly so as not to offend his obviously upset and embarrassed mum, if only she had known......

  36. Ah ha ha ha!!! I love it sweetie and you know what, I had no idea how to do this so you've potentially saved us a trip to A&E as the spud is forever shoving things up his nose because he thinks it's funny. Lap of honour deservce!

  37. Um, wow! Really? I had no idea. Well done mama. Sorry to hear you've been feeling miserable, I've been a bit like that too lately. Hopefully the baked bean incident was the start of good things to come! :)

  38. Yikes! Wish I had known this when extracting all of our kids' treasures with a straw :-(

  39. Of all the things to blog about! :)

    btw I know how you felt about the cot thing, and I'm so sad that the woman who bought it did so for a profit. I gave my daughter's beautiful pine cotbed to a local charity who said they had someone in mind who would love it and it made me feel so much better about losing it.

  40. I would be happy too after such a masterful rescue. Thanks for sharing, you never know when first aid techniques such as this might come in handy!

  41. As wonderfully fantastic as this tip is, what really won me over (I'm new to your blog) was the visual with the victory lap....

  42. Now this is the sort of thing that should be included in parentcraft lessons! Will make sure I remember for when it inevitably happens in our house...

  43. I don't suppose that bit of knowledge will come in useful in my life, but you never know, so I'm tucking it away in the memory bank... Thanks!

  44. really - just a big blow and out it came? (that sounds rude really) but wow, I shall remember that.

  45. Now there's a skill that every mummy needs lol