Thursday, 11 June 2009

Pregnancy weight - it's just so depressing

I had the shock of my life today. My hairdresser is pregnant. Ok, so she did actually tell me she was pregnant about 3 months ago, but I had completely when I walked in today (for my 3 monthly treat - nothing whatsoever to do with the Blogging meet-up on Sunday - you have to believe me) - and I was met with a bump the size of...well something rather large, I was a little taken aback. But only momentarily, of course. I quickly recovered my composure and instead mustered the most amount of excitement possible on a wet and windy midsummer day. But then I saw Kelly's face, and it didn't match my excitement at all...Could it have been that she wasn't happy being pregnant? I was sure she'd viewed it as good news when she'd initially told me...So what was the problem? I decided to enquire further.

"I just feel so fat. I hate it. I feel like a baby elephant. And I know I look like one too. I can't find any clothes to fit and I'm aching all over and I can't walk, I can only waddle and...well...nobody told me it was going to be like this. And the worst thing is - I'm only 5 months gone."

Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. I knew exactly how she felt. It is a well-documented fact (or at least it is if you read this blog) that I gained rather a lot of weight during both my pregnancies. I'm not sure exactly how much (5 stone with the first and 3 stone with the second). Come on - do you really think I'd forget that? And I can honestly say I hated being pregnant. I didn't hate the fact that there was a tiny creature growing inside me...or that I was about to help make a miracle happen...I just hated the aches and pains that went with it. And most of all, I hated being so fat.

It's not that I have anything against fat people (some of my best friends are fat)...hee's just that, well, I wasn't comfortable being fat. It had never happened to me before. I had grown up proud of my humongous portions and fast metabolism...and even during my first pregnancy when I was eating for Britain (and France...and Italy and Spain and the rest of the world come to think of it), I wasn't in the least bit worried. There I was waking up in the night to eat my third king-sized Magnum of the day and I still managed to convince myself it was just the bump...

So when I finally gave birth two whole weeks of scoffing after my due date and realised the true horror of what had been left behind, I was more than a little traumatised. No longer did I possess a flat, toned stomach, or even a round taut one. Nothing of my former body had been left behind. Instead I resembled a character straight out of Channel 4's Body Shock series. 'Ten ton Mum'. That was me. I think she had to be fed out of tubes or something equally as sinister. And I wasn't just fat. I was fat and sweaty. I put it down to the breastfeeding, although it could have been something to do with the oh so natural organic deodorant that had promised not to harm the baby, but couldn't deodorise a fragrant rose.

So there you have it. I was fat and sweaty and full of misery and getting absolutely no sleep and still wearing maternity clothes 4 months after giving birth. BUT, I had the most beautiful little baby and it could have been much, much worse...

So why am I writing this now? Well apart from poor Kelly who is going through the exact same frustrations as I went through on two separate occasions, I am also currently reading a lot about other people's weight struggles, including the now infamous 'Wednesday Weigh-In' in the blogosphere. It's not just me who piled on the pounds during pregnancy....And without sounding patronising I want to say...Don't worry. The weight will go. If you want it to. It's now two and a half years since I gave birth to my second child and I no longer resemble Ten Ton Mum. My stomach isn't quite as toned as it once was (nor my breasts as pert and pretty - but that's another story entirely)...but I did lose the weight. Where it went I have no idea. But I don't care. It's gone...and yours will too.

Oh, and one last thing - if you just so happen to be pregnant - congratulations and enjoy - but try to stay away from that second helping of cheeseburger and chips...if you can.


  1. Oh yes; although I loved being pregnant and didn't mind the weight, I was still pretty startled at pics of me a few months afterwards... well said. I've tagged you over at mine by the way.

  2. Oh yes...I know this woman! It was me as well. And now, 12 months post delivery, I am still looking 5 months pregnant (I too blogged about it "Yummy Mummy, not quite yet"). I'm now looking to to The Bikini Diet on GMTV and the support of some other mummies to get my belly in gear. Love your post and your blog...Love that I'm up at this hour despite being practically comatose with tiredness. Cheers! :)

  3. Hmmmmmm.....well, i'm due tomorrow, and my brother got married yesterday, so I have been well and truly photographically documented at my largest for posterity.
    I hope this little one is as hungry as my last, whom we loving named the liposuciotn baby!

  4. Oh I loved being pregnant. The morning sickness, the two ton butt, eating all the ice cream I can handle, catching glimpse of my naked self from behind! *Shiver.
    There is a reason we don't speak of our misery to the girls trying to get prego. Misery loves company! LOL

  5. I just found your blog and this is such a relevant post that I had to comment! I'm 26 weeks pregnant with my third son right now, and am feeling all fat and dumpy. I gained 80 pounds with my first son and 90 with my second (eek!) but have lost it all in between pregnancies ... only to gain it back, it seems, with this one. :)

  6. I agree with you - the weight seemed to go with a bit of walking and a fair amount of breast feeding (got to love that aspect of breast feeding!).

    After my first was born, I was part of some research looking into the way women viewed their bodies post pregnancy and what their expectations were about regaining their former glory (I live in a university town, it is almost impossible to give birth in the hospital without being signed up to research on something!). Anyway, they were seriously concerned about the expectations women had, particularly following various celebrity bodies reappearing so soon after they had given birth and believed that the pressure to lose weight was contributing to Post Natal Depression and all sorts.

    I think the message is that we should not expect too much of ourselves and be assured that the weight will come off - not as fast as you might want - but it will.

  7. I put on 2stone with my first, 2stone with my second, lost 2stone, put 4stone on with my 3rd, lost 2stone, put on 1stone with my 4th and currently i've lost 1st 3lbs so its not going too badly.

    My weight is like a yoyo and my husband lovingly reminds me 'that you've put on weight because of our beautiful babies, not because you've eaten too many pies' bless him x x

  8. It took me about a year to get back to pre-pregnancy weight after Rosemary. Though my pre-pregnancy weight was overweight to start with and I only put on 2.5 stone. I used to have a really fast metabolism and could eat absolutely anything and stay really skinny. And so did my sister. But when we hit about 21 or 22, bang! It just piled on and we either have to be comfortable with being a bit overweight or spend far too much time dieting and exercising. I've settled with the former, while my sister yoyos between the two.

    I really don't like being pregnant and if it weren't for the rather fabulous result of the whole process, I would not being it a second time. And, at the moment, I am convinced that I will not be doing it a third time. To the point where I'm already thinking about which contraception to get the day after Eleanor is born. But it's not the weight gain that bothers me, it's the hip pain and the heartburn and the waking up throughout the night to pee or slug Gaviscon and the inability to get comfortable, ever, oh yes, and giving birth. In fact, one of the things about pregnancy that I like, is being able to wear clothes that show off the bump, because it's supposed to be there, rather than clothes that hide the flab!

    Rosemary and I were looking at photos of her as a baby yesterday and talking about how Eleanor would be sleeping in that same crib and sitting in a bouncy chair like that one, and so on, and it suddenly struck me that I had no pictures of me pregnant. And, so far, have none this time either. Odd.

  9. After my first child I pinged back into shape like an elastic band within 2 days - well I was only 17!

    The second one - I scoffed my face and blew up putting on about 4 stone! Lost 2 stone.

    third one - too close to second one - put on 2 stone - still struggling to loose last 1 1/2 stone 10 years on!!!!!!!

    Moral of the story? - have one, have it young and you dont even have to try to get back in shape!

    Off to stuff face with choccy now...RMx

  10. I hated being pregnant too - every single bit of it, god knows why i put myself through it three times, i'm sadistic! Wish i could say i've lost all my baby weight, but truth is i'm bigger now than i was when i had the twins 18months ago - i wake up and every morning saying "i'm starting the diet today", but struggle to make it past 11am without seeking a sugar hit from the cookie jar!

  11. The first time, I loved being pregnant so much that when it was over I wanted to do it all over again almost straight away! I was broody again when E was 3 months old and got pregnant with V when E was 8 months old. I put on 3 stones for E and 2.5 for V.
    My second pregnancy was really similar to the first one physically but emotionally it was a disaster! I think I went through antenatal depression often overlooked by the way.
    But weight wise both time I didn't give a monkey! For the first time of my life there was a reason for me to have big butt and I was happy. It didn't stop my mum telling me "darling you look bloated, don't you?" I was 39 + 2 days pregnant and gave birth 2 days later, so am I not allowed to be a bit bloated?! but that's my mum, let's forgive her...
    Anyway, the day after my 6 weeks check after V (2nd one, are you following?) I went to slimming world, as I wanted to lose the baby weight asap. Just because I was worried it would stay forever. But you know what, even if I truly believed SW helped starting shedding the weight, a good share of it is shedding naturally still. So I would say, be aware, adjust when necessary and don't let one little (or big) chocolate muffin fight you. Have it! but if it is more than one... well you know very well what you are doing and only you is in control...

  12. I used to love reading things like this when I was pregnant. Unfortunately I now weigh about 1.5st MORE than I did at 9 months pregnant with my second :(

  13. With all the drama surrounding Alexander's birth, I eventually came out of hopsital two stones under weight.

    It was a good summer. I scoffed everything in sight...Drs orders!


  14. I put on 3 stone while I was pregant, now I wasn't small to begin with but I'm now huge and I hate it. I didn't over eat I had diabetes for which I had to take insulin and I was informed the other day that insulin makes u put on weight!!! Thanks for that they didn't tell me that at the time! So now I have a huge saggy belly and thunder thighs that hurt when I sleep!! The diet has started fingers crossed it works!

  15. Yes, it is coming off. Slowly but surely. I know, I am not the most... erm... patient one re this topic, but I found it really hard to have the flabby bits + the dark circles + the headache that comes with sleep deprivation. It is getting better now we are more out and about.

  16. I was a slim jim before and after both of my babies. Lucky me. Soon as I hit 40 though, my body rebelled and I stopped wearing bikinis on holiday. Ugh.

  17. ugghhh...I lost my weight, but it never really was the same. I quite running for 4 months and gainned a massive amoutn of weight...I keep running now, but I can't seem to drop it. I feel like I did after I had my baby. Blah!

  18. I love it when someone (other than me) admits to not enjoying the whole being pregnant part! Of course I loved the thought of the end result but hated looking like Mr Greedy's twin sister! Apart from that, the spotty back, the sciatica, the different sized boobs, the breathlessness and the feeling of being inhabited by an alien, it was a breeze! And you're right... the weight does come off... slowly but eventually. (took me four years!)

  19. Breastfeeding and babywearing helped me lose my baby weight (20lbs) in nine months. If you're worried about losing baby weight, buy a sling and walk everywhere. It really works.

  20. After about 9 mths I had lost all my baby weight from my first (about a stone or 2) but it's taken longer this time round and I'm still not back to normal 10 mths later. Only have about a stone or so to lose! I'm still breastfeeding though so maybe I'll lose some more!

  21. Sparx - Yeah - it's always photos that make you realise just how big you've become. I'm actually proud of my 'fat' photos. I even get them out and show people who never saw me pregnant because it's such a shock! Thanks for the tag. Will pop over asap x

    cafebebe4u - Oh it seems to take forever to lose that weight - and it doesn't help when you're picking at your children's food! It's a very depressing time trying to lose it...And yes - I'm like you - I moan that I'm exhausted and then I find myself still up at midnight reading blogs! What's a girl to do?? Thanks for the lovely comment x

    jen - Excellent - there's nothing like those 'enormous' pregnant photos - good on you for managing to actually make it to your brother's wedding. I remember when I was almost 9 months pregnant with my first my Granny had a huge 80th birthday party - and I didn't go because I was too fat to move off the sofa!! Turned out I didn't actually give birth until 3 weeks later...Good luck with the impending birth.

    ModernMom - Hee hee. Yes - that image of yourself from behind. Think I might just do a little shiver too...Ooh *shiver*!! Funny thing is - I always spoke about the misery (especially the bit about childbirth). Think I may have put a few friends off actually!!! Oops...

  22. Rita - Hello - and thanks for visiting. Just did a quick conversion from pounds to stones so I could see where you were at. Wow - and I thought my 5 stone was big (70lbs). I'm loving your 80 and 90 lbs - thanks for joining me!!! Isn't it hideous?! Get this pregnancy out of the way and then you can lose it all over again...oh the joys. Will come and visit your blog asap x

    BiB - Yeah you're so right - I felt so depressed after giving birth - nothing to do with my baby - it wasn't actually post natal depression because I was ecstatic to be a Mother - it was just the body thing. And yes - I think it was the not understanding just how long it takes to get your body back if you do it in a normal a non-celeb, longer than a week way! And yes, it has all come off, but it did take a while!

    Amy - Aah what a lovely husband you have! And yes, that's the one good thing about pregnancy weight - at least you have something to show for all the weight gain...! And by the sounds of things you're doing brilliantly - well done!

    Tasha - Ooh so much to say here. Firstly - OMG - you must take some photos of you whilst pregnant - it's an amazing thing to remember - wow - my tummy really did stretch that much!!! I have quite a few pregnant photos of myself and my two love to look at them and say ' it's me inside Mummy's tummy'. It's very cute.

    And another OMG - contraception the day after Eleanor is born?!!!! That made me laugh - you have high expectations!! Crikey I think I was in disposable knickers for the first couple of months!!! Sorry - TMI!!! But yes, pregnancy itself is enough to put you off having any more children. And yes - I had the dreaded SPD - which I what I blame (other than the eating) for having put on so much weight. I was in so much pain that I really couldn't walk anywhere or do any exercise. It was a truly hideous time. So yes, no more pregnancies!!

  23. Pop over to my place - you've been tagged!

  24. RM - You do make me laugh. Yeah - you're right - although it's a bit too late for me to have them young now!! Wish someone had told me sooner! Can't believe you pinged back in to shape like that...didn't think that was possible!!! And yes, think I might go and stuff my face with chocolate too. Sounds great to me!

    wifeofbold - Oh that sounds like me!! The starting the diet today thing. It's just so difficult - especially with so much food in the house. It takes such a lot of will power. You'll get there!!! x

    Peggy - That's a lovely comment - and yes I was following!! Can't believe you enjoyed being pregnant - does that mean you're going to have some more?? But you are right - pregnancy does give us an excuse to stuff our faces - but that's the problem...we do it for 9 months without stopping (or at least I did)... And as for pregnancy comments - I got so many - my favourite two were from my Granny - only a few hours after I gave birth... First one was after she'd done a double take on me - 'Oh darling - I didn't recognise you. I didn't realise you'd put on so much weight'....closely followed by 'Are you sure they haven't left anotehr one in there' - said whilst pointing to my stomach!! Thanks Granny!

    Shabby Chick - Oh putting on weight is such a pain. It really does drive me crazy. I find that when I'm bigger (because I yo yo too) I just have no clothes to wear. I don't want to go out and buy anything new because I've got perfectly good clothes waiting for instead I just wear the same pair of jeans over and over until I have enough willpower to start (and see through) the diet. Don't be too hard on yourself. When you've got small children the last thing you need to think about is dieting. I'm just self-induldgent!!

  25. GG - Oh my!!! You poor thing. Must have been a horrible time for you...although I suppose you made up for it with the food...!!! Sounds like you deserved it x

    New Mummy - Oh you poor thing. Yes - I had a friend who had diabetes whilst pregnant - not very nice! And yes, I also remember my thighs killing me - I used to go to sleep at night witha pillow between my legs because my thighs hurt so much - it used to feel like I was sleeping on concete at night. Horrible! Good luck with the diet xx

    Met Mum - I saw a photo of you at the cafe - and I thought you were looking pretty good! I thought 'this is a lady who doesn't need to worry about pregnancy weight'!! But yes, flabby bits are horrible...I'm sure they won't be around for long (am very impressed)!!

    Maddie - Oh there's always one slim jim!!! Hee hee. Good for you. Yeah the bikini thing is a bit depressing though - I've started to wear a tankini now - which kind of hides the tummy a bit but still feels like a bikini. Am hoping I can just about get away with it!!

  26. OP - I was never one for a huge amount of exercise (oops) - so I never had the problem of having to give it up. I think results would have been even more disastrous...But I think you can never really get your 'old' body back. You can look just as good when you've got clothes on, but take your clothes off and it's just not the same. Sad, but true!

    That Girl - Yes - I love it when people say they didn't like pregnancy too...There's nothing like a good bit of empathy! Oh don't remind me about the bad back, the boobs, the's just too hideous to remember...And yes, it takes forever to get that weight back off(or at least it feels like forever at the time)!!

    Cave Mother - Yes I remeber someone telling me '9 months on, 9 months off' with the baby weight - but then whn I got to 9 months and I was still much heavier I was sad all over again!! But it's ok now...I'm back to 'normal'! I did try the sling - and enjoyed it for a while but Edie especially was such a huge baby (way over the 100th percentile after only a few weeks) that after 3 months she just became too big to carry for any length of time... Shame!

    clareybabble - Yes like I said to Cave Mother above - someone once said '9 months on, 9 months off' - but I suppose that's if you don't put on too much weight!! Unfortunately breastfeeding didn't really help shift my weight (think I was so hungry that I continued to eat way too much)...will power and a diet was the only way...but it still took more than a year!

    Kathryn - Ooh thanks for the tag. Yes, will pop over asap x

  27. This may make me very unpopular. When I discovered I was pregnant I went to see a dietician to find out abut what to eat. She told me I needed to gain at least two stone and reminded me I wan't eating for two. I only actually needed to eat an extra 200 calories a day. So I gained two stone whilst pregnant and my daughter weighed nearly 8 pounds so was perfectly healthy and I was left with little if any weight to lose. The message is you don't have to eat for two. Bet you hate me now?!

  28. Well I put on about 4 stone when pregnant, but thanks to breast feeding I lost all my baby weight very quickly, in spite of eating like a pig. It was only later that I piled it on good and proper, basically after I stopped nursing while continuing to eat like a pig.

    I was very hungry all the time when pregnant and breast feeding though, so as good as the only 200 kcal extra theory sounds, if you are ravenous it don't work.

    So I'm now (27 months after b-day) 1 1/2 stone heavier than I was 6 months after my daughter's birth. Boo.

  29. So true - everything you said. I was totally shocked at the sight of myself after I had my first child. I had always been quite slim, but I over indulged during the pregnancy. I remember seeing a photo of myself a few weeks after Matthew was born, and bursting into tears. It took me about nine months to get back to within 10 lbs of my previous weight. I had my second son five months ago and am once again struggling to get the weight off.

  30. I put on about 2stone with the first child and lost it, very slowly afterwards, absolutely LOATHING being fat - I'd had a great body with zero effort beforehand, but felt I got kind of close again, but with the second I put it all back on again and then some, plus had to have a c section and then got varicose veins (beautiful!). Felt UTTERLY HIDEOUS.
    What saved me was taking up hip hop dancing. I got addicted. Completely. I go to a brutal, sweaty class 3 or 4 times a week for an hour and a half and he KILLS us with a different routine every time and I lost even more than the baby weight, developed muscles I never even knew I had which are long and sinuous and it got my brain in shape as well because I have to follow the ever changing routine. Plus it's often in the evenings so I don't sit around eating, I'm out moving instead. It has completely, utterly changed my life. I cannot recommend it enough if you can find something like this.
    I also feel, as a bonus, way less tired, much younger, and very light on my feet - more like a teenager than I did when I was a teenager (and, ahem, I am rather on the older mother spectrum,,)

  31. rosie - It's ok I don't hate you (well maybe just a little)!! Actually I had a couple of friends who hardly put on any weight (literally just the baby) and after giving birth looked no different at all. I was never sure how they managed it, but I think some people are just better designed than others!!! You'll have to have more children cos it sounds like it suits you!!! Hee hee xxx

    cartside - honestly I didn't lose any weight depressing is that?? Obviously I had heard that it helped you get your figure back, so when it didn't I was devastated!! Think I was just eating too much regardless - like you said, I was absolutely ravenous day and night. And the problem is - you kind of get used to eating so much (even after you stop breastfeeding) that it's so hard to cut back....I have no answers!!

    Lady Mama - Hi there and thanks for stopping by. Oh it's just horrible isn't it? I also cried looking at the photos of me post-birth. I couldn't believe I'd let myself get so big. I honestly didn't realise at the time - I was so proud of my huge bump...funny when I look back at it now!!! It does eventually come off...but it takes so much longer than you think...and it's no fun at all...

    MTFF - Wow!! Sounds amazing. I love hip hop dancing - or at least watching it!!! Funnily enough they probably do have classes around here (Brighton is pretty hip if you know what I mean)!! Problem with me is that husband is always away so if I sign up for something on a regular basis I can never guarentee that he'll be around to look after the kiddies. Anyway, I'm always using that as an excuse...will have to get over it one day!! Sounds great though. Just what I need! But yes, having children ruins your body. It is truly hideous!!

  32. LOL! I was the size of a small country when I was pg. I'm 5ft 4 and went up to a whopping shhhh..... 16 stone from about 12 stone.

    I did manage to drop it all in about a month due to DD being in the SCBU unit and the stress meant I was super active and not eating.

    However there was one mortifying moment when I sat down on the sofa at 9 months pg, and my tiny Nokia flew in the air and landed in my glass of milk....I had to explain at Carphone Warehouse in between sobs what had happened because I was so fat and they gave me a new phone for free. That was the only good moment of being so huge!

  33. Oh dear 13 years on and I still look pregnant, there's no hope for me.

  34. Liz - Oh no you poor thing - not surprised you lost all that weight! I wouldn't wish that on anyone...Hilarious with the phone though - I can see it now!!

    magnumlady - Hee hee!!! Oh I don't know...I can see hope in other directions! xxx

  35. I have no idea how much weight I gained with either of my pregnancies as I don't own scales and the midwives never weighed me so I did't worry. If I had to guess I'd say it couldn't have been more than about 35 lbs each time. I think as long as you're not eating a ton just because you 'can' since you're pregnant and just follow a normal, balanced diet and eat when you're hungry, you'll be fine. I always cringe and feel a little sad when pregnant ladies say they are "fat." Growing another human is a little different than just giving up healthy eating and exercise for no reason! I wish we weren't under so much pressure to be thin and perfect and just enjoy our pregnancies and then our babies (as much as possible, that is, despite the aches and pains) instead of worrying about how we're going to lose the weight as quickly as possible. Put down the women's magazines!! Seeing bloody celebs looking fab two weeks after birth is not good for the psyche.

  36. Noble - Of course growing another human is different from giving up healthy eating and exercise for no reason - and that's why putting on weight during pregnancy is just about bearable - because at least we have a beautiful baby to show for our pains. However, pregnancy weight is an issue which affects the majority of women who've had children and the depression that comes with it is not something to be brushed off. It obviously didn't affect you, but everybody is different...just like every child is different and because of that I can't pass judgement on anyone. It's easy to say just eat healthily during your pregnancy, don't over-eat and you'll be fine. Of course you'll be fine, if that's what you do. But, if you don't, you won't. And the fact is - when you're pregnant - you are hungry pretty much all the time - maybe some people aren't - maybe some people are so sick that they don't feel like I said, everyone is different. I wasn't sick at all, but I was constantly hungry - day and night and I felt I was eating what my body and my baby were asking me to eat - I didn't want to deny my baby what it needed simply because I didn't want to put on weight. That would have been silly. On top of all of that, I also suffered badly from SPD (symphysis pubis dysfunction) which I know a few of our fellow bloggers also suffer from. What that meant was that I found it increasingly hard to move around and towards the end of my pregnancy I couldn't move at all... therefore no exercise. That's just the way it was. I didn't weigh myself religiously - I just realised how big I was at the end of my pregnancy and was interested to know how much weight I had put on...and only knew how much I had weighed right at the beginning because the midwifes had made a note. And the fact is, I had put on a ridiculous amount of weight and after I gave birth I didn't have any clothes to wear. Of course I didn't expect to look like a supermodel the day after giving birth, or even a month after - that had nothing to do with it. I'm honestly not interested in celebrities and their bodies. I couldn't give a rat's arse about who's lost how much weight how quickly. And that is the truth. All I know is that I wasn't happy with my body and it made me miserable. And I know it makes other women miserable too. And I think one of the reasons why they get miserable is because some people make them feel bad for feeling miserable - as if they're being ridiculously vain or selfish. For the majority of women I honestly don't think that comes in to it.

  37. The true horror of what has been left behind - classic sentence, definitely fitting with the way i felt!!

    CJ xx

  38. @Maternal Tales - I'm sorry if I misrepresented what I was trying to say. I didn't mean to imply AT ALL that just eating a healthy diet and getting some exercise will prevent you from gaining weight. I'm saying that we should follow our natural cravings and appetite and listen to our bodies about how much exercise to get (or not get) and sod the scales. If you gain 20lb or 80lb but did so out of following what felt right for you and your pregnancy, it shouldn't make us feel like we're doing something wrong. I've heard women really stress out about how much they're gaining in pregnancy and refer to themselves as fat WHILE PREGNANT, so my comments were more in reference to that than how a woman reacts to her weight gain postnatally.

    I would never dream of telling someone that they should be happy with themselves even if they're not. We all have right to feel about our bodies however we wish and it is perfectly reasonable to want to lose excess weight gained over a short period of time. I just think that sometimes our cultural expectations (mainly due to pressure from the media to return to thinness as soon as possible) can cloud how we see ourselves after having babies and I want to be sure that no one feels undue pressure to 'conform.' I apologise if my post seemed dismissive of that, it was certainly not my intention and I can see now that it was poorly worded.

    Oh, and much empathy from me about the SPD. I had a rather severe case in my first pregnancy which prevented me from getting much exercise either so I know how difficult that is. Absolutely vile condition, that is.

  39. CJ - It truly was horrific - and I shall never forget what I looked like for at least a year after giving birth - I hate to say it - but I do love a bit of empathy!!! Glad I'm not the only one xx

    Noble - Bless you for coming back! And yes, didn't mean to get all defensive...I just know how difficult it was and I know how much empathy means to some people...especially me! I totally agree that we should follow our natural cravings - and I did just that. Unfortunately my natural cravings were unbelievably needy (especially during my first pregnancy) and it only hit me after giving birth what had really happened during the previous 9 months. I really did just go with the flow...wanting what was best for my baby - and I was a little shocked at the result! And yes, I never felt fat during pregnancy - actually I was proud of my enormous bump - I actually looked like I was carrying triplets!

    And as for media expectations - I sometimes feel that blaming it on that is an excuse - people used to say to me - oh don't worry about this celeb and that celeb and I used to say - 'I don't even know who you're talking about - I don't care about what society says is a great body - all I know is that my stomach is spilling out over my trousers and making me feel horribly uncomfortable and I don't like it'. But that was me. Maybe other people feel pressurised by the media. But whatever they feel, if they're depressed then I understand...I do remember a friend turning up with a present of a little pink t-shirt when Renée was born. It was about a week after I had given birth and I was still reeling from the shock of my new body - and when I looked at the t-shirt and read the words 'Think I'm cute - you should see my Mummy' - I nearly cried!!! I could never have put Renée in that...not even 5 years after giving birth - I mean who would I have been trying to kid!!!

    Anyway, yes, SPD was shocking...totally hit me for 6. And when I became pregnant for the second time and felt the SPD pains at 2 months (before I even had a bump) I just cried and cried. I couldn't imagine how I was going to cope being pregnant, with a toddler and in hideous pain. Luckily I found an amazing osteopath and just about survived. My sympathies go out to anyone suffering the same thing...

    Thanks for coming back to comment btw x