Thursday 14 January 2010

Is your husband big enough for you?

My poor husband.

A look of anguish fills his face as he ponders the future, knowing that all is not as he thought it was.

He is depressed.

Today, however, it has nothing to do with health, or money, or work, or family. Ok, well it might have a little to do with each and every one of the above, but for the purpose of this post, it has nothing to do with them.

Today my husband has measured himself.

And before all you ladies start squealing with excitement, I'm talking about his height of course.

But this is no laughing matter, I can assure you.

For today my husband has realised that he is 5 foot 11, when, for the whole of his fully-grown, adult life, he believed himself to be a statuesque 6 foot 1.

Where on earth those missing two inches have gone is anybody's guess. Admittedly, the poor love is French and does get a tad confused with feet and inches.

But the plain truth prevails.

He is 5 foot 11.

For we have measured. And measured again, just to be sure.

So why is he so depressed? What is it about a man's height, or a woman's weight or dress size for that matter, that becomes such an obsession? Why do we lie, or kid ourselves or exaggerate or stand up loud and proud and tell the world that our baby is so huge that their vital statistics can't even be plotted on a graph?

Does a man have to be big to be a man, or a woman skinny to be a woman?

Of course not.

So what is it then?

Just as I'm sitting here pondering the answer, it lands directly in my lap.

A text message from my husband.

"My ears are burning. Are you writing about me? I don't mind as long as at the end you say that I'm big enough and tall enough for all your needs."

So there's the answer. It's as simple as that. All men want is to be big enough for their women.

Bless.

And, for the record, husband, 5 foot 11 is enough for me.

42 comments:

  1. I am not the same height as my MIL despite what my DH says. And yes he is big enough for me too - my husband that is not yours!

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  3. My husband is 6f3, I'm 5f9 and like to wear heels so he is the perfect size for me.

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  4. my hubby is Italian and shorter than me! tis the 'lying down height' that matters! *nudge nudge, wink wink*

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  5. My partner's gone the other way. In his own words he used to be 5 foot 9 1/2 until 5 foot 9 became a bit on the small side of average. So then he went up to 5 foot 10, which is now OK, although now her veers towards 5 foot 10 1/2. We don't measure him because what he thinks is clearly the most important issue. This post made me laugh so much, and yes, my partner's big enough for me too. 11 year old son though? Too big.

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  6. My husband and I are both short, so it works. Lovely post.

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  7. He he! I also get totally confused with inches and centimeters being French myself. I never know how tall is my husband but he is way tall enough for me. I dated blokes who were shorter than my husband and I can confirm the manhood has nothing to do with the size, I mean height, it is a state of mind!

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  8. Lol, you got me excited when I read the title of your post!! I don't get out much..!

    I think people shrink a little as they get older. D'you know, I'm sure my husband has shrunk since I met him. I couldn't possibly wear high heels (not that I ever do) because I would tower over him. But it's not important really is it. Is it?!!!!

    CJ xx

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  9. Ha ha! You tease!

    I don't have a husband/partner, but if I did I would prefer a tall man cos I'm tall. 5' 11" would be enough for me too :-)

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  10. my husband is just shy of 5'5".

    when i met him, i was sitting in a bar stool, he was standing. when i stood up (wearing 4" heels) I towered over him. we both gulped in shock, it was *that* extreme. indeed, i am taller than him even in bare feet.

    and while i'd always fancied the taller guys ... turns out, it doesn't matter, not one bit.

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  11. Man of the House is 6ft 2 and I always liked the fact that his thighs were bigger than mine. Sadly these days that's no longer true.

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  12. My husband is one inch taller than me, weighs less than me and we have the same size feet. Which is only slightly alarming when the only shoes he can find are my pink sandals. But, he is pretty perfect apart from that!

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  13. I'm a pretty tall girl - 5'8" - so I'm glad that my husband is 6'3". It takes a fairly big dude to make me feel "small" and feminine. :)

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  14. Ahh, that is so sweet. Hope Mr Maternal Tales (or is it Paternal Tales?) feels entirely validated and appreciated by his lovely wife. And isn't even Valentine's Day yet...bless xx

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  15. No husband so no problem. Yet why do I feel sad typing that. I suppose it's obvious really.

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  16. Haha, I think a lot of men think they are taller than they really are. Sweet post. ;0)

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  17. Well, my other half and me are the same height, and shoe size. Result- when I was the same waist size as him, (and trust me I'm working on being again), I got to wear all his Levis (before the boyfriend jeans look was fashionable), all his designer t-shirts fitted me very well, and his trainers too. At anytime when I had to do the "walk of shame", instead of having to walk back to my house in yesterdays clothes, I'd just pinch his instead. And at the time when we met he had some very nice clothes indeed (and I was pretty flat chested so didn't bag the tees out!)

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  18. My husband was not impressed when crimewatch described a suspect as quite short then gave the height as the same as his!

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  19. I love this! B is also 5'11" (so clearly that's the perfect height for a man) although as I'm a measley 5'3" (and a half - never forget the half) that's ok with me. In fact I once went out with a guy who was 6'5" (with, for the salacious among you, all the other bits in proportion) and there were all sorts of things that just didn't work... talking to each other in a noisy pub first among them...

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  20. My husband claims to be 6ft 1in. I have never thought to measure him, but whatever height he is, he is tall enough for my 5ft 4in.

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  21. Your husband sounds adorable. I'm 5' 4" and my hubby's 5'9". We fit well together but he had a hard time growing up being the smallest boy in the class. Girls thought he was cute in a puppies-are-cute-kind-of-way. That used to bug him a lot as a teenager.

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  22. Hubbie is 5'6" or 5'7", depending on who you believe. I'm only 5'2" - he's definitely enough man for me ;-) - perfect snuggling height - I just fit under his arm (if you know what I mean!)

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  23. My husband is about 5'7" and was always the smallest boy in the class when growing up. He's still taller than me though, so I don't care. I'd hate to be with someone I'd crick my neck looking up at!

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  24. When we both stand in our socks, my hubby's chin can rest just perfectly on the top of my head.

    Perfection.

    5'3" and 5'10" is, for this reason, obviously the perfect combination. I wouldn't want him any taller or that would mean I would have to be too (to keep the chin/head ratio) and I like being a titch who has to turn up her trousers.

    xx

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  25. I think you can console your husband by telling him he's bigger than average. What a shame he actually thought he was taller than h is. Gutted. I think average is 5'10". My husband is 5'7" and I'm just under 5'8". If I wear heels (like I do all the time at the moment...) then I'm obviously quite a bit taller than him. It doesn't bother me though because we've been together too long and we're too old to care. He's big enough for me.

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  26. Aww - I get what he means, but I hope he gets over it. My husband weighs less than me, which always makes me a bit worried. I doubt anyone really marries someone for their height.

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  27. Inches, stone, feet. It means absolutely nothing to me. Neither do UK dress sizes. For that matter, I have absolutely no idea how much my husband weighs, how much I weigh or how tall we are. It's great and all adds to becoming very relaxed about those things.

    PS: You definitely are a tease! :-)

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  28. I fully understand your husband being put out. Only last week I discovered that I do not possess the legs of a supermodel, given that I am half an inch shorter than I am supposed to be.

    What's going on?! Maybe there is some serious global shrinkage going on..

    You heard it here first!

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  29. oh blimin eck, i left a message earlier and it was taking ages to load and now i see it hasn't! just that, tom is 5 11 too and way too tall for me! i LOVE the pics below!! x

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  30. I think he is more endearing for the loss of those two inches. What a romantic thought, "at the end you say that I'm big enough and tall enough for all your needs."
    I have NEVER understood the height thing. I have loved many tall men and many not-so-tall men and never once considered their height.

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  31. Bless him that he worries about it but wouldn't it be great if we could all just relax and accept ourselves the way we are? I guess that's just not the human condition.

    Thank you for your lovely message btw xxx

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  32. Aw, that's lovely. My nasty ex always maintained he was 6'. He wasn't, he was the same height as me(5'7"). He lied a lot. Anyway, my lovely husband is also the perfect size for me. I think he's 5'10" or 5'11". Either way I wish I weighed less than him! x

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  33. Hee hee. Love it. My ex was a half inch taller than me and that was fine. I'm 5.6 and a half and pretty broad so I have to admit the idea of a man towering over me just a little is nice as I've never smelt small and feminine. 5'11 is tall enough for me too. xx

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  34. And my word verification was just begionof. Tee hee,

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  35. My son was 3lb when he was born and is expected to be make about 5 foot 4. he has been under a growth specialist since he waa born. when she asked me how big daddy was and I said 5 8 she said ' I will write down 5 7 then, they all add an inch!!!!

    My daughter is expected to not make 5 foot. great gran was only 4 foot 8. You can't eat much when your this tall thats the problem (and yet I do ) hence I'm a bit round!!

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  36. I have always had a thing for a big man - it started at Uni I think (Stuart was his name......) I then went and married a diddy Italian (hence the diddy son) but then I found my 'perfect' man - I have no idea how tall Robert is but.....he is just the right size!!!

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  37. YIKES, Don't tell me about heights. I am 5 feet 0 inches adn I have never given up stretching and jumping for even one extra inch.

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  38. I hadn't thought before how odd men are over height, being tall is something to be so proud of for them. it is funny what different people obsess over isn't it and how something that means nothing to one can cause misery in another. Still, 5'11'' is quite tall, isn't it?

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  39. lots of comments! My hubby is 5ft7, which may be considered short, but I am only 5ft, so he seems huge to me. I love feeling tiny in his arms.

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  40. All my young life, I said a pre-requisite for a husband was that he had to be taller than me. Then I ended up with a man who is almost exactly my height. We're both around 5' 9". I reckon he might be an inch taller, if he stands up straight, but it's! Means I feel a bit silly in heels, but I don't mind at all. And all my pre-marriage life, I really thought I would. Funny how things change in ways you couldn't predict.

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