Can I just scream?
Aaaarghhhhhhhhhhh.
Thank you.
Damn blogger, damn the Thai Internet connection and damn this friggin' concrete bench that I have been sitting on for the past two hours. My bottom now has no feeling in it, whatsoever, and in fact, it probably never will have, ever again.
I wanted to write a post about comments and about how important they are to a blog and about how, since I've had my little blogging break, I have totally neglected replying to anyone's wonderful comments and about the constant daily guilt I have felt as a result.
I wanted to say, well the guilt has been lifted.
I am now totally guilt free.
Because as of now, I have replied to every last comment I have received since I stopped replying to comments which just so happens to be four months, 11 posts and 318 comments ago.
That's what I wanted to say.
That's what I was planning on saying.
But I'm just going to stop and re-group instead. Take a breath. Because I have typed and re-typed the same long reply eight times (yes EIGHT) and each time I have lost the connection, and thus the comment too. And it is driving me crazy. And my bottom is numb.
And I need a drink.
And I can't keep typing it again because I may just go insane.
So please, bear with me.
While I go back and attempt to reply to every last comment that has been un-answered (and I promise, on pain of death, I will do), tell me something.
Tell me about comments.
Do you reply to every single comment you receive? Do you feel guilty if you don't? Do you go back and check if someone has replied to your comment?
In the past, I have always replied - I like to - I like to feel that people feel heard and listened to. And I'm sorry if I haven't made you feel like that recently. I have been reading them. I just haven't had the energy to reply. But I do now. I just don't have the frigging technology.
Typical!
And if you have commented on my previous posts and haven't yet had a reply, then please do go back and check...I need it to have been worthwhile!
Thank you.
Posts
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Focus on Irish Food – Glenisk
7 hours ago
Don't panic MT, we like you whether you reply or not... But in answer to your question, I do try to reply to all the comments I get. In reality I probably manage around 90% - which means 9 times in 10 if someone comments, I get back to them. Not sure if this is a good or a bad practise as it then cuts down my thinking time for actual blogs (and other less important stuff like admin and real life), but like you I feel it would be rude not to...
ReplyDelete(No need to reply to this one, btw)
I always reply too. I get a bit behind, but I get there. I find it really bigs me when I write a long reply and get nothing back!
ReplyDeleteI try to reply to mine, which is why I installed Intense Debate, so I could indivdually and then the people get an e-mail, I am pants at checking back for comments and on blogger I never tick the send them to me via e-mail option!
ReplyDeleteI stopped replying to comments as I'd rather go back to other people's blogs and reply on their blogs - if there is anything to say. I think disqus or intense debate is a tool that makes it much easier if you want to let people know that you reply.
ReplyDeletePS: I have given you an award: http://www.metropolitanmum.co.uk/2010/05/spread-the-blogging-love/
ReplyDeleteEm- it's zeh. Stop feeling guilty. It's enough now, you're not even catholic. Try typing everything in word or note pad and then cut and paste. Love u x
ReplyDeleteOh, I don't know. I feel I should reply but sometimes there's just not much to say. I tend to reply to the comments on my most recent post, but I must admit I don't go back and reply to new comments on older posts. I hope people aren't feeling ignored - I do appreciate every single comment.
ReplyDeleteI find it a nightmare to reply back on blogger...so I'm defecting to wordpress. I'm sure no one will hold it against you for not replying, and hey you're on holiday. You should be relaxing, eating, swimming...not worrying about comments lol. ;0)
ReplyDeleteI've just (re)started making a supreme effort to reply to comments on my blog. Sometimes you get one that doesn't necessarily require a response, so I don't always answer those - but I try to answer the majority. However, I never mind (and don't even remember usually) whether someone answers a comment that I leave. I know life gets in the way of blogging sometimes! :)
ReplyDeleteSadly I don't always these days. I like to think that people who comment know I am listening to them, I do refer to nice/funny or encouraging comments in my posts sometimes. Awww now I feel guilty....! Hope the bottom gets better. x
ReplyDeleteHey Em. Its Radha. I love that Zeh is able to give you such good practical advise as ever. I love Zeh for that. Hmm, I should tell Zeh really shouldnt I...
ReplyDeleteAnyway, re guilt & replies... its really great you like to try to reply... but frankly - as a mum of three and a full time job, with handful of friends I barely get time to see... I think there isnt enough time in the day. Who was it who said, 'dont sweat the small stuff'? I try to use that as my excuse when I dont manage to get round to everything in my life!! Hope you are having a swell time my love. Would love to see you when you are back. xx
what i say is go easy on yourself with the guilt trip... i don't mind if people never reply. there are thousands of blogs and bloggers out here and they address so many different areas - and make them exciting and interesting for me too - it makes it impossible to get round everyone all the time.
ReplyDeletemaybe i am just a vagabond tart in blogland.
don't answer that.
MT was one of the first blogs I followed and (possibly without knowing it) you were my mentor. I always reply to every comment, as you do, as I am always grateful that someone had taken the time and trouble to say something. It is time-consuming but I still feel it's important. Mmmm Thailand, I hope you're having a chilled-out ball (apart from the dodgy internet connection)! xxx
ReplyDeletePotty - Now I couldn't not reply to you, after all my moaning! But yes, it's hard to reply to everyone, but then I really think it makes a difference. I think my problem is that I've made such a huge backlog for myself. Hmmmm....
ReplyDeleteNat - exactly - I'd hate to make someone feel bad because I've just ignored their heartfelt comment. Unfortunately I fear I may have done just that over the past few months. Must make up for it...
TheMadHouse - Oh I know - I really do need Intense Debate - in fact I tried to install it ages and ages ago - some time last year and it was all such a disaster - lost a whole load of comments, no space for anyone to leave comments, etc, that I just un-installed it - I'm rather technoligically challenged, so I do rather struggle! But mayeb I should try again. I'm sure it's the way forward...
Met Mum - Yay thanks for the award/tag sweetie - I love this one - it's all pink!! And yes, I know I need Intense Debate - just have tried it once and failed - too technologically demanding for me (I know, I know)! Will try again...
Zeh - Hello darling - I know, I know, you're so right. Where has all this guilt come from? I am married to a Catholic don't forget!! Think I need guilt therapy or maybe just therapy!! You were always so wise - I need you to be in my life more. Come back xx
Mwa - It's never easy - but maybe it's just me - or maybe it's just because I have such a big backlog. I'd just hate to be that one person who wasn't replied to!! As my friend says, don't sweat the small stuff...maybe I should listen!
ReplyDeleteChic - Yes, blogger is a nightmare for that and if I could do it all again I would never have chosen blogger, but we all live and learn. Think I will try again to install Intense Debate. Might help. But don't worry - I'm only fiddling around with my blog when it's too hot to do anything else. It's midday here and is sweltering and I'm sitting in the shade with my chocolate and coconut shake. Tis bliss!
Rita - The thing is, it never used to be a supreme effort, but I suppose the longer you've been blogging, the more comments you get and thus the harder it is to reply to each and every one of them. Never easy and thanks for being so forgiving!
Reasons - Oh sweetie - the last thing I wanted was to make you feel guilty!!! But yes, definitely with you I feel that you're listening, so maybe that's all you need to do...yes, good point.
Radha - Hello darling - Yes Zeh is amazing isn't she? She always says and knows exactly the right thing to do. Miss her lots as do I you. And I haven't even met your little ones yet. Shame on me (you see - more guilt)!! Where has all of this come from?? But thansk sweetie - and yes, you're right - don't sweat the small stuff! xx
Grit - I will answer it - you are a vagabond tart in Blogland, but that's why people love you. You always, always make me laugh. And yes, I'm banishing the guilt. It does no good whatsoever. Mwah dx
Sandy - Oh darling - that is such a lovely reply. Bless yo a million times over. But yes, you're right - it was always important for me to reply - I think it's an important part of being part of the community of the blogosphere to let people know that you're listening to them - because it works both ways. My problem is that I have such a big backlog. I used to say that I wouldn't write a post before I had replied to comments from the previous one which always worked. Must get back to that. Kiss xx
Hey you, didn't realise you were "back". Re: comments -- I always try to reply, sometimes it takes a long time, but I do get there. I think it all events out, and comments certainly are not meant to make someone feel guilty. Nice to see you! PS -- are you going to cybermummy?
ReplyDeleteI have Disqus purely for the ease of replying to comments - it's because I've used very interactive forums in the past and know that replies can be important - however, in a blogging community, it's not necessarily like that. I do enjoy it when a discussion starts within my comments and different people interact :)
ReplyDeleteI don't think anyone EXPECTS you to reply to every single comment - that isn't the point of blogging (IMHO) - you should do what you feel comfortable with.
A Modern Mother - Yeah I'm kind of 'back' - albeit in dribs and drabs!! I never really found it hard replying to comments, but I guess it's my own fault now because I've left it so long and there are soo so many to reply to! Re: CyberMummy - am still undecided - would love to, but need to know what direction I'm going with my blog. If I leave it too late will all the tickets have gone? How many are left?
ReplyDeleteNickie - You're right - I really do need something like Disqus or Intense Debate (which I did try to install but failed miserably - am so technically challenged)! Think I need to go back and try again.
I reply to almost every last comment. Sometimes, I let them pile up on old posts, and then I have to work to catch-up, and the hell of it is that I have no idea how many of my respondents even see me responses to them.
ReplyDeleteI don't respond to everyone in separate comment boxes, but respond to as many people in the same box as blogger will accept. That way people don't get flooded with separate emails originating from the same post.
Emily, stop it with the guilt..now! (please, see so polite) You were the first blog I ever read, and it was with your encouragement I started my own. I'm so happy you seem to have turned a corner, and rediscovered yourself in Thailand..YAY! I do always try to reply to comments left, but normally only on the most recent posts. And yes, I do sometimes go back to see if I've had a reply on a comment I've left, but normally only a day or so after, not much longer than that. I found disqus fairly easy to install, if you do use it remember to 'backup' your template first,have heard some horrors on that one. It's great for replying to comments directly.
ReplyDeleteSnowbrush - Yes, you see that's where the problem lies - when you let it all pile up. I have such a backlog, but then I only have myself to blame.... Hmmmm. And yes, blogger's not easy to reply to individual comments on - I need to install a separate comments thingy (am so technical)!
ReplyDeleteBrighton Mum - Hello darling - I know I know!!! Less of the guilt. Am not sure where it's come from - something about having children and being married to a Catholic I think! But yes, I do need to try to install disqus or Intense debate (again). Failed once and gave up. Having said that, I tried to leave a comment on your blog yesterday - in fact two days in a row on separate posts - and disqus wouldn't let me!! Love your photos btw - the ones of Brighton and of Ian - and your post about Ian was beautiful xxxxxxxx
Sometimes I just don't have anything to say in reply to a comment...and with some blogs I read them assiduosly, but don't have any comments to make. But I do feel guilty...
ReplyDeleteI don't always reply to comments, but I always return the visit!
ReplyDeleteOh gosh, there aren't enough hours in a day to reply to all comments. There arent' enough for me to comment on other blogs. Come to think of it, there aren't enough hours to read blogs! No point feeling guilty. I don't think there is a set etiquette for blogging, just go with the flow!
ReplyDeleteNota Bene - I know - what is it with this guilt? Silly, I know. I think my problem is that I have huge backlog - if only I hadn't let it build up then I wouldn't be in this predicament. Hmmmm.
ReplyDeleteMama Zen - Yep, that's a good way of doing it too. Definitely in the early days I would always return the visit. Problems comes I think when more and more people read your blog and then you really don't have time. Oh, it's never easy!
Working Mum - I know, I know!!! What am I thinking, really?! Yep, you're so right - go with the flow...I shall try to take a leaf out of your book xxx
Love the blogging and I think you are doing a great job. Check mine out if you get a chance!
ReplyDeletehttp://billyjeanjane.blogspot.com
I don't necessarily reply to each comment on my blog but I go check out the commentator's blog and comment on one of their posts.
ReplyDeleteI try to reply to comments, if they're only a few posts ago... I don't always check back that far. Also, I don't get a million comments, makes it easier! Good to have you back, sweets!
ReplyDeleteI always found replying hard work but have found that since I decided to reply to all comments I have really enjoyed feeling more connected with my readers. I have installed Disqus which makes it all so much easier.
ReplyDeleteI try to reply to everyone. I didn't used to, but then I realised how much I liked it when people replied to my comments on their blogs, so now I do. I can reply on my phone, because wordpress lets me, which makes it easy. I don't tend to always check back on other people's blogs to see if they have replied, but I do if it was a comment that I felt strongly about.
ReplyDeleteI'm like you - and like you have just caught up with the backlog, although mine was only three weeks worth and that was bad enough.... The weird thing though is that while I try reply to everyone*, I NEVER go back and check whether anyone's replied to my comments on their blogs, so I can't actually think it matters really, I just don't want to upset anyone who thinks it does...
ReplyDeleteWhich is definitely why you don't need to reply to this one. Just glad to have you back (catching up on my reading too as you can see) and hope things are a bit easier now.
*only exception - comments on my Gallery posts, because they tend to just say something like "great picture" to which I send a global "thank you" and then reply specifically to anything specific.
wow you are a dedicated blogger alright! and perhaps a little crazy?! - you really went back and replied to everyone?? I have missed you! Hope you and the girls are doing well. x
ReplyDeletePS you have put me to shame
Blogging has caused me all sorts of guilt nightmares! But I think I'm over them now!! I posted the same question on my blog ages ago and the general consensus was that everyone does what is best for them and no one seems to be judged for whatever path they take.
ReplyDeleteLike most people, I have limited time but I love blogging and and love reading other blogs. Once I have written a post, I choose not to reply to comments. But sometimes, if what someone says strikes a chord or asks a question, I will email them to continue the discussion away from the blogosphere. I comment on other blogs which is my way of returning the favour but I only do that if I have something to say. As I only allow myself an hour a day for blogging it seems to work. If I'm honest, I still feel guilty about not getting round to everyone but not guilty about keeping my sanity !!
I think it's wonderfully kind of you to reply to all your readers. I'm just starting out so if I ever get any I might try it. Depends on how many commenst you get I suppose. Good luck on catching up.
ReplyDeleteyou're not alone. if i'm in the mood i do reply to all comments when all i have to say is thanks or nice. LOL!
ReplyDeletebut sometimes if there are lots of comments, i just answer those that asks questions and just address the rest in one comment.
I would LOVE to reply to every comment, but I'm just so time poor...
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, I love it when people reply to mine, but I'm not offended either. If I see them pop up on my own blog, I know they're reading, if you know what I mean.
Don't worry. People will still visit. Honest! xx
Well actually I have been horribly offended and barely could get myself over here. NOT.
ReplyDeleteI have actually considered leaving my blog because I have such a hard time replying to comments. I get them, I read them (reply to them in my head) and then my house goes manic and POOF, here's the next day. Then I think I will reply to that day's comment and work my way back. Riiiight... I am going to be working my way back to 2008. It's awful, the pressure!
My opinion on your predicament: I enjoy your blog. I enjoy your posts. I would rather you spent your energy entertaining me than feeling bad about replying.
What's this Disqus Kelly mentioned? Wait... don't answer that ;-)
I don't reply to every post, i try to if a question is aksed though :)
ReplyDeleteI feel really guilty - I only sometimes reply to the lovely comments I receive due to time purely, not due to being rude or insensitive or ungrateful as I love getting comments. I will eventually get Disqus - though I've tried to leave comments on 3 blogs this morning who have Disqus and it wasn't working so I wasted about 15 mins trying and retrying...my bum was getting sore from sitting too! I do hope my lovely, gorgeous readers who leave comments don't feel neglected by me....oh dear! *blush*
ReplyDeleteIt's been a while since we've heard from you, MT. Hope you're OK.
ReplyDeleteOr, in other words, hope you're "Bearing up."
NO, you don't have to reply to this. Just write another delightful post instead.
(No Bears or Maternal individuals were harmed during the preparation or posting of this comment.)
I hate that when that happens just truck on as best as possible !
ReplyDeleteI go back and forth - I like to reply, I try to reply, I get too low to open my laptop sometimes. My blog is on life support at the moment so it hardly matters - but I think you're absolutely brilliant for going back and replying to everyone.
ReplyDelete