Sunday, 9 May 2010

History and Happiness

Seventeen years ago I fell in love.

Completely and utterly.

I knew my life would never be the same again.

And I was right.

I was 19 years old.

But it was nothing to do with a man. Or even a boy. Well, ok maybe it was just a little bit, but for the purposes of this post, it wasn't.

It was a country.


I loved it. I loved the people, the food, the climate, the hapiness that it gave to me so easily.

In those days I think I had a permanent smile etched on my face.

And sometimes when I'm sad and exhausted and overwhelmed by my present day life, I like to remember those times. I like to think that maybe one day I can feel like that again. If only for a moment.

So, it was only natural, given the past few months, that I would want to come back.

So here I am again. Seventeen years after I first arrived and 15 years since I was last here. Looking for just a little bit of that happiness.

And do you know what?

I think I've found it.

Back then I fancied myself as a bit of a philosopher. Still do, but shhhhhh, don't tell anyone. At 19 you can get away with it. At almost 36, you can't.

So if I say I wrote the following when I was 19, maybe you can forgive me, just a little bit.

You will always love the place where you learnt about life
Because you'll never believe anywhere else can offer you such riches
And understanding life being one of the world's greatest riches.

But what you have to understand is that you can never stop learning.
So don't be fooled into thinking that there's only one place for you.
The key to understanding is that you can never understand everything.

So expect everyhting, but wait for nothing.

Because if you wait it will never come.

Thailand, I still love you. Thank you for making me feel happy again. I owe you one.


  1. Enjoy your happiness - lots of luck xx

  2. I love what you wrote - it was beautiful. Im so glad you got out there and are having a wonderful time - savour and enjoy every moment and come back refreshed, ready to start again xxx

  3. I was there when I was 18 and it had a profound effect on me too. Like you I'm 36 now and would love to return. I think back then it was a very special place, I'm sure it is now but just busier. Did you stay in Koh Samui at all and go to the Reggae Bar followed by the Green Mango? God I lost a few nights in there! Oh to return. Actually some of the stuff I wrote there would be completely incomprehensible now, the grass was pretty strong stuff!! Lovely post and a great reminder for me.

  4. You wrote that aged 19? That's absolutely brilliant. So pleased you have had the chance to return. Take a look at Tara's latest Gallery entry - it's Thailand and it's stunning!

  5. I love your line:
    You will always love the place where you learnt about life
    Because you'll never believe anywhere else can offer you such riches

    It is so true.

    I hope you have a fabulous break and come back fully refreshed.

  6. I love Thailand too. It's beautiful, but that's not just it. It has something I can't quite put my finger on, that makes life fizz. I can't wait to go back. Really glad that you found it too.

  7. Kathryn - Thank you honey - hope you're well x

    That Girl - Thank you! I wrote a lot more stuff when I was 19 - I had a journal full of my musings - Oh to be that age again - I thought I could conquer the word!!! Yep, am truly savouring...although the friggin' mosquitos are driving me crazy!

    Mummys Life - Ha ha - Oh yes - I sooooo remember the Reggae Pub (crossing the bridge to it and being faced with a 3 metre high picture of Bob Marley!! How could I forget. And yes, the Green Mango too - what memories! I did spend most of my time in Haadrin back then though - and this time too, although my first night was in Koh Samui (at which bar, ahem, cough, I fail to remember)!! Must have been the jet lag...

    Rosie - Thanks darling - very lovely of you to say so. I think I may have regressed since then! Will check out Tara's pics... x

    Catharine - Yeah I love that line too (am so modest)! But yes, I felt back then I learnt a lot - maybe it was because I actually had the time to learn...unlike now!!

    Victoria - Exactly - it's so difficult to define it - I think it just allows you to be...if that makes sense!

  8. Oh lucky you. I've never been there but it sounds lovely compared to freezing Ireland.

  9. magnumlady - Hello darling - hope you're good. Yes it's amazing here - if you ever get the chance you must come. Was thinking about you the other day because I was reading this book called Secret Scriptures by Sebastian Barry - have you read it? It's set in Sligo and it starts off by saying just how cold Sligo is!!! It made me think of you xxx

  10. Part of my heart will forever be in Thailand so it's nice to know that other people feel the same way about it. I loved it so much I got married there and hope one day that I can show my children how special it is.

    I love your writing extract - it's got that wonderful earnest quality that we seem to lose over the years for fear of sounding cheesy.

    It was nice to meet you at Cybermummy yesterday and I look forward to following your blog :-)

  11. Wow!profound words for a 19 year old. This is so true, the only thing I'd like to add, is that things can never be completely perfect. We, as Mum's are guilty of striving for perfection, well I do anyway. It's actually the bain of my life. When I stop and let go just a little, I feel lifted. Perhaps that's because, for one minute I am focused on the here & now, and surprisinly enjoying it because this is rarely the case in my life. I have to try and teach myself this everyday. It's such a simple thing, but it seems to bypass me all the time. You're right you can never know everything.