Thursday, 22 April 2010

A little bit of Chocolate and Love

So we all know I've been a bit miserable of late.  A bit uninspired. And more than a bit prone to curling up on the sofa and sobbing until I've bored myself stupid with the sound of my own patheticness.

But, fear not.  I'm planning on putting an end to it very soon.

Besides, there's only so many times you can pretend that your watery eyes and swollen lids are because your contact lenses are playing up before someone starts to suspect the real reason you look like you've seen better days.

Sooooooo, imagine my complete and utter unadulterated delight when I opened an e-mail from Fuel My Blog a few weeks ago, asking whether I'd be interested in reviewing the 'highest quality chocolate that money can buy'.

Now I may be miserable, but I certainly am not stupid.

It had my name written all over it.


  • (a) I need to get back to blogging.
  • (b) I NEED some chocolate.
  • (c) I AM chocolate queen.

I mean, who else decides to eat chocolate every day for nine months during their pregnancy because they've read one article which states that chocolate makes for happy babies?  And who else is sent eight Mars Delights in the post by their Mother and eats them all in one sitting?  And as my husband says, only you can eat chocolate for breakfast, lunch and supper and not feel bad about it.  Well ok, you AND your Father.

What can I say?  There's a sweet tooth gene deep in my DNA.

So, having established my credentials and having let you in on a little bit of the background, you can imagine just how I was feeling when that parcel dropped through the door.


Just a little bit.

Did it matter that it was two days after Easter and I had already had my year's fill of the brown stuff?

Maybe.  But I refuse to be weighed down by irrelevancies.

The fact remains...I tore that package open like I'd been starved of chocolate for a year.  Two years.  More even.  I could smell it through the fibres of plastic wrapping and jiffy bubble wrap.

All those evenings of crying myself to sleep would be undone in an instant.  The moment that chocolate passed my lips, happiness would be mine.

I could feel it.

I emptied the bars onto the floor in front of me.

One, two, three, four, five bars of chocolate.

But hold on.

Organic dark chocolate.

Organic extra dark chocolate.

Organic extra dark chocolate with natural orange oil.

RAW chocolate.

Another organic extra dark chocolate.

I peered inside the package.  Nothing else remained.  I tipped it upside down for good measure and shook.  Hard.


I may be the chocolate queen, but I'm the chocolate queen who doesn't like dark chocolate.

At all.


The disappointment was palpable.

I could have cried.  I think maybe I did.  Organic dark chocolate bars may even have been thrown across the room.  And then I went into the kitchen and found solace in the form of my Lindt rabbit.

So what's left to say?  Well, I did of course attempt to eat it.  Tastes change over the years.  Or so they say.  Unfortunately, not in my case.

I still hate dark chocolate.

Organic or not.

Chocolate and Love or Terry's All Gold.

'Tis the same to me.

But all is not lost, Chocolate and Love.  You see, I had the ladies over.  Ladies who love dark chocolate.  I couldn't let it go to waste now could I?

And this is what they said.

Waxy, smooth, good without being too much, but not as good as Hotel Chocolat.

So 'not great, great then'? I asked.  'Well that's a shame', I said, 'because I have all these bars and they'll only be thrown in the bin.'

Needless to say, when  the ladies who love dark chocolate left for the night, there were no bars remaining.

Which is just as well.  Because I had my Lindt rabbit for company.


  1. Next time, just call me! Dark chocolate is my speciality. In fact, it was the only thing that got me through morning sickness ... the darker the better!

    Hope things are all ok.

  2. So good to see you back here - hope things get better/are better/will get better (whichever suits)

  3. Glad to see you back!

  4. So lovely to see you back honey...and now I'm going to tell you off! Where was my invite for this wonderful dark chocolate orgy?? I LOVE LOVE LOVE dark choc..It's my fave, I love it as much as you hate it obviously...I think I may have to go and have a tiny sulk now. But it's okay really, you didn't know, but you do now! Much love xxx

  5. Neither the husband nor I are fans of dark chocolate but I was suitably impressed. Still not going to rid me of my love of milk chocolate though.

  6. YEEEHAAAA you are back!!! You could have always sent the chocolate over to me if you still had some because dark is my favourite of all chocolate! 70% is my ideal choc :)
    Hope is well and better lovey xxxx

  7. I love milk chocolate too. Waxy doesn't sound too good to me. You need to start sucking up to those nice Green and Blacks people right away. They do a lovely line in milk chocolate.

    Very sorry to hear you've been feeling so miserable. I know we don't know each other properly, but I feel like we're friends and I don't like to think of my friends being sad. Hope it gets better soon. Thailand should help. It's very hard to feel sad with lots of sunshine and mangoes.

  8. Great to see you back Emily! I am with you on the dark chocolate dislike front, I'd have been most disappointed if that was me! I'm sorry to hear you've been feeling down. Hope things do get brighter soon x

  9. Where on earth was I?? I LOVE dark chocolate!! You should have shone some sort of chocolate beacon in the sky like in Batman and I would have come and helped you out.

    Seeing this post has pop in my reader has made my day. I miss you, but then you know that. And I hope and hope and hope some more that there is an end to this tunnel soon and that your big trip works some magic.

    Much love xxx

    P.S. Am I the only one who is *slightly* concerned about the relationship you have with your Lindt Rabbit?? Puh-LEASE tell me you don't talk to it... ;) xxx

  10. Yay!!!! Good to have you back MT!! And I hate to disagree with you but you are just sooooooo wrong about the dark chocolate thing. It is the ONLY kind of chocolate worth eating. When I was preggers I made my local chocolaterie (is that a word) source 95% cocoa bars which I devoured before leaving the shop. Then discovered it kept me awake long into the wee small hours so had to settle for the miserly 75% variety.

    Milk chocolate?

    Just doesn't count.

    Next you'll be telling me you have a secret fetish for white chocolate (which isn't strictly chocolate anyway as it contains no cocoa beans)....

  11. Very pleased you're back. Have been checking in on your elephant from time to time... Disappointed about the chocolate though, next time let me know and I'll send you an sae.

  12. You fussy so and so ;-)
    Lovely to see you back xxx

  13. Welcome back. I agree completely with you on the chocolate front. My boy used to buy me fancy boxes of chocolates until the honeymoon period was over and I could be straight and tell him that it's Cadbury's Milk Tray all the way for me - common girl and proud of it :)

  14. A box full of dark chocolate sounds HEAVENLY!!! I would have eaten it all, right then and there, in one sitting. Had it been milk chocolate, same thing ... I love it all. :)

  15. Nice to see you back. I'm a dark chocolate lady, though easily temptable over the line to milk.

  16. Your posts always make me laugh!

    Wish I had happened upon that article or a like during my would have made my chocolate cravings seem all the more justified!

  17. In the future you can always send unwanted dark chocolate my way. Just wandered onto your blog and I'm following you now... Glad you're feeling better and up to blogging again.