Wednesday, 2 September 2009

Look at the size of that (sorry)!!

I once visited a friend who was in the middle of potty training her two-year-old son. Renée was just a baby and was still in nappies and up until that moment I had never had any cause to see a toddler's poo.

That was until the toddler, having proudly deposited a very-fine looking specimen, carried the potty over and showed it to me.

I almost keeled over there and then. It was huge. More than huge. It was enormous. It wasn't a toddler poo at all. It belonged to a grown adult. And as I looked at the size of the little boy and the size of what he had just produced, I couldn't help but stand in awe.

Cut to this weekend in Gloucestershire. Visting some good friends and keen followers of this blog. Well they say keen. I think they may have read one post, a very long time ago. But I won't hold it against them...

Anyway, we'd only just returned from France and I don't think Edie's, ahem, motions, had made it back to British time and it had been a few days since she had, know...

And then it came.

And at the insistence of Edie, hubby disappeared upstairs to help with the wiping, as you do with a two-year-old.

When he returned, he was beaming from ear to ear.

"You will never believe the size of Edie's poo. You just won't believe it."

I was slightly dismayed. I hadn't been there to witness it. Call me strange. Call me odd. Call me whatever you want, but I am her Mother and I had wanted to stand in awe at my daughter's achievements too.

Hubby clocked my crestfallen face.

"It's ok darling. I just took a photo of it for you."

A man after my own heart.

So here it is. And I'm sorry if it offends you. I have to say I thought long and hard (hee hee) about whether or not to post this, but the four of us adults did spend rather a lot of time tittering over the photo and I know you will too (secretly perhaps).

I just have one last thing to say. Thank God she's out of nappies...

In the meantime, there are 3 blogging carnivals happening as I type. I'm a bit late with this one, but Sparx over at Notes from Inside my Head has been hosting a Poo Carnival (yes that's right - a Poo Carnival - you see I'm not the only one obsessed). Steffi from Mummy Do That is hosting a Bi-Lingual Carnival and ClareyBabble is hosting the bi-weekly British Mummy Blogging Carnival. So do pop over and have a read. There are some hilarious, insightful and downright silly posts for you to peruse. Enjoy.

And one final thing. Thank you so much if you've commented on my previous two posts. I'm not ignoring you - I just haven't had much access to a computer. I'm now back at home properly and I promise to reply to all your comments as soon as I find the time to type...


  1. It is impressive when they make that move from baby poo to HUGE grown up poo, isn't it?

    Mind you, I don't *think* I ever took a photo - classic!

  2. LOVE it. Wonderful poo.

    I am always amazed at how impressed I can be when my babies poo/fart/produce a large snot. It boggles the mind. We are potty training just now, so I am also poo-obsessed.

  3. I'm... amazed? (And horrified too, obviously, but that goes without saying). Way to go Edie!

  4. And I thought it was just boys who could create a poo that size. Yay for being potty trained!

    Do you think we become less poo obsessed as we have children who move well beyond the potty phase?

  5. bloody impressive! I too am completely obsessed with baby/child poo, so much so that if dolly happens to go whilst i am out and tom does the nappy change, i am gutted because i need to know size, consistency etc. (and also she only goes once a week and so it is a big occasion when she does finally go).

  6. I am eating my brunch (what, I'm pregnant, I have to at least seven meals a day?!). Really should not have scrolled down. Have to say, if we had one that size, it would block the damn toilet up and I would have to stick my arm down it to unblock it. Ew. Ew. Ew. Hope Rosemary never does anything so big!

    And... you were in Gloucestershire and didn't come and visit me?! Harrumph.

    Is Renée back at school this week? Rosemary's back to nursery school tomorrow and playgroup on Friday. She is sooooooo excited.

  7. You know what this looks like when you have a quick look at it? Like poo in a jar. Honestly, that would have been worrying ;-)

  8. Impressive!!!! I love how your hubby took the photo for you - that is totally the kind of thing my hubby would do too, i'm with you, i am a little horrified yet secretly proud when my girls produce no 2's of that size ahahahaha x

  9. I have just come down from changing Kai's nappy and too had a 'bloody hell that was a big one' moment. I did NOT take a photo of it though.

    You win. This is brilliant.

    P.S. There's an award waiting for you over at my blog. This post proves to me that you were the perfect person to give it to.

  10. Oh My God this is huuuge!! You can be proud of that little girl :))

  11. MT, you have surpassed yourself in the gory poo stories. Personally, your written description was enough for me. I didn't actually need to see photographic evidence. Honestly. At fist I couldn't believe it was the real thing and thought you must have mocked up a fake poo scene (maybe some well modelled PlayDoh?) to depict the specimen in question. Then I saw the outline of the loo and the water and everything and thought, hmm, that's way too much effort to go to for a mock-up.

    Anyway, it's good to be really clear about these things so do please pass on a hearty congratulations to Edie. (And despite missing the moment, you must have been secretly glad that you didn't have to wipe after THAT??). xxx

  12. Wowow you said big, but I didn't realize just how big!

  13. whoa! thats big! it is strange how it comes to become that big, 4year old has done some whoppers too, but no pictures lol! xx

  14. I'm laughing so much. I can't believe you posted a picture of a poo. I feel slightly sick. But yes, impressive poo! Haha.

  15. Do you know what? It only makes me love you more the fact that you have posted a picture of Edies poo on your (b)log! And OMG.... the size of it! Yes indeedy... thank god they get out of nappies in the end! xx

  16. That a poo to be proud of! Good work xx

  17. Hah! And do you know what... my word verification was PLOBSOME!!! Almost PLOPSOME!! Helloooo... anyone else find that funny?? OK just me then.....

  18. Thank you for making me chortle like a loon in my bed all on my lonesome!

  19. I don't know what's more brilliant:
    The fact that your hubby took a photo of a poo.
    The fact you posted said photo on your blog.
    The poo itself in all it's glory.

    Made me giggle though :)

  20. Wow, there's one for the family album for sure. What quick thinking of your Hubby to photograph it for you.

    Very funny.

  21. Oh my...what had she had for dinner that day! Made me and husband laugh...infact his words were holy cr*p...quite lol

  22. I can't believe you just did that!

  23. I just have to say and this is TMI, but I would be proud if I did one that size and I am huge compared to a two year old!

  24. Sally - yes it really is truly impressive - but then I was always amazed at how squidgy baby poos were too...I'm easily amused. In fact I remember going out for lunch with some friends once (when Renée was a tiny baby). She filled her nappy to bursting and I was intent on showing them...unfortunately they didn't have any children and were not in the least bit impressed!

    Mwa - I know - the mind truly does boggle! I was speaking to my parents on Skype today and Renée was in front of the camera when she farted - she found it absolutely hilarious and couldn't speak about anything else. Having just published this post, my parents now think that our whole family is poo obsessed. They could be right - but then I think they may just have forgotten what it's like to have two small children! Good luck with the potty training btw - can't wait to hear how you get on! It's always good for a blog post...

    PM - We're all apalled darling, we're all apalled...I'm apalled at myself for posting, but I couldn't not share it with everyone! And yes, way to go Edie...we're all very proud ;-)) !!! Chuckle chuckle.

    BiB - I now - I too thought it was just boys...but alas no - girls are just as capable it seems. And as for being poo obsessed, please let it fade as they get older...please!

    Elsie - Oh darling - a woman after my own heart. I know exactly where you are coming from - I hate to miss a poo - especially when they were babies. But once a week??? Crikey - that is good going. She'll be on to Edie-sized doings before you know it!

  25. Tasha - Hee hee - Oh I remember those days - had to wake up in the night just to eat cos I was so darn hungry. Don't envy you darling - but at least you've made it into September - horay for a super-bright, oldest in the year child. And yes, ahem, sorry about the poo - couldn't resist!! And totally thought about you when we were in Gloucestershire - but it didn't occur to me that we were anywhere near you (British Geography not my strong point) until we were on our way home and I saw a sign post for Stroud...but by then it was far too late. Hmph indeed. Stupid me. But would you have wanted us after that poo anyway??! xxx

    Met Mum - Oh you're so right - it hadn't occurred to me - pickled poo in a jar!!! Tee hee. Priceless...

    WoB - I know - I was so proud of him for having taken the photo - and with no promting at all - he obviously knows me far too well! Yep, so proud of Edie. Proud and amazed and apalled all at the same time!

    Josie - Oh you have made my day. My Mother eads this blog and called me up after she read the post this morning - and she was completely apalled with me for having published it. I shall read her this comment and she might not be so disturbed!! Thanks so much for the award. I'll pop over to yours to collect it xxx

    PHM - Oh Peggy - I am proud!!! Tee hee. Proud and disturbed. How did she manage it??? Such a talent...

  26. Mamma Po - I'm sorry darling. Really I am. Despite it being highly disturbing, I appreciate you leaving a comment!! I did wrestle with the idea of publishing it (Mother is NOT happy)!! But, I just had to share it. And yes, I was extremely glad that it was hubby who wiped up and not me!!

    NaturalMat - Hello and welcome - and I'm sorry you've had to visit for the first time just as I've posted this!! I'm not really poo obsessed!! (Ok, I am, but most people don't hold it against me)!! And yes, it was rather large wasn't it?

    Amy - I know - I'm always amazed at how such little creatures can produce such huge specimens. i really think I missed my vocation in life. I should have been a nurse I think!

    Lady Mama - I know - I'm sorry! Truly I am. I can't quite believe I did it either. It was a moment of madness, but it would be unfair to take it down seems to have provided amusement for a few people at least!

  27. That Girl - Well, do you know what? It makes me love you even more that you love me for it. Many wouldn't!! I'm so glad you appreciated it. And yes, it was spectacular. And plobsome - I am in awe!!! High fives all round I think. Mwah xxx

    Mrs OMG - I appreciate a not-yet parent commenting on a poo post. That shows a lot of loyalty. Son you'll be able to comment with empathy too - I bet you can't wait hey?! Your very own poo stories to tell ;-)) x

    Natalie - you are very welcome my dear. Very welcome indeed. I do so love a good chortle x

    miss leslieanne - Hee hee. Yes, I'm not sure what is better either - I think the fact that hubby took a photo is spectacular. Me posting it on the blog is just plain silly and the poo...well...they'll be more I'm sure!

  28. Very bored - Yes, I'm not sure she'll thank me later in life for it is a great achievement though - so she should be proud!! And yes, I'm in awe of hubby I think - it was the camera on his phone - modern technology saves the day! Love it.

    Laura C - Hee hee. Like that you showed it to hubby - I think it's doing the rounds. Mother not impressed at all, but at least I know I'm not alone in finding it funny!

    Reasons - I know. I don't know what came over me. It was a moment of madness. Will you still be my friend?!! xx

    Pippa - Hee hee. Chortle chortle. Don't worry - as you can see, nothing is TMI for me. Yep, I think most of us would be proud of that one for sure!

    SPD - Indeed sir. Indeed...

  29. Hecky Thump! That's a big bugger! I wouldn't argue with that. Your little one ain't gonna have any trouble in that department.

    Thanks for a good laugh, and for entertaining Amy!!!

    CJ xx

  30. That's gross. My big spaniel does ones smaller than that.

  31. OMG that is hilarious. I have to admit we have also photographed poos. M did one that was like a turtle when she was about 2 and she wanted to show her dad, and my niece did a perfect meat and two veg. It's amazing isn't it? :D Hope you're ok lovely.

  32. >>But would you have wanted us after that poo anyway??!<<
    Hmmm. Probably would have had to insist on meeting in Costa Coffee or somewhere, yes. What with enormous poos and the fact that you'd probably faint if you had to walk into my totally unimmaculate house! Do let me know next time you're in the area, though.

  33. CJ - You're welcome. Glad Amy enjoyed it!!

    Maddie - I know - I'm sorry!! And she's only 2. SO shocking I just had to share!

    Jo - Phew - at least I'm not the only one. And it doesn't surprise me that you've done it too. Hee hee. A woman after my own heart. Love it. Yes, tis truly amazing what they can produce!

    Tasha - Costa Coffee is fine!! And don't worry - if the size of that poo doesn't make me faint then the state of your house won't either. I'll bring my rose-coloured spectacles just to help me through it though. And yes, next time I come, I promise to let you know. Besides, I will now have two little ones to meet...can't wait! xx

  34. Haha! Well done Edie! That is a poo to be proud of.... and JP took a photo for you! When my big Teenagers were Edies age, we didnt have new fangled tech like digital cameras so I'm not sure what the poor bloke at Boots would have said if I'd taken something like that in to get developed!! That would have taken some explaininig....x

  35. ewww that is disgusting.
    I reckon one day you will bring out a book all about poos! ;-)

  36. WONDERFUL!!!! And just like ours here, you'll be glad to hear. NOTHING beats a good poo story. Oh, dear,now must clear up the tea all over the keyboard. x

  37. You know that's disgusting, right? I mean really disgusting ..... and really ,really funny !

  38. That thing is so big I am surprised you didnt need a midwife to deliver it.

  39. Brighton Mum - Yes - imagine having to wait a week to get your photos developed only to realise that they're all crap. I remember those days. It was always so disappointing! And yes, not sure JP would have taken a photo had he thought the man at Boots would have to see it first!

    magnumlady - Sorry!! Yes I don't really help my reputation much do I? A book on there's a thought!

    Ladybird - I knew you'd appreciate it. Hope I haven't ruined your keyboard!

    Selina - Hee hee. Yes, I know it's disgusting and I'm sorry...I just couldn't help myself!

    Dave - Tee hee. Yes, now that would have been a wise idea. We did have a doctor in the house though...but she wasn't needed. Must be prepared in the future I think!

  40. You're right, your story trumps mine!!

  41. I know I'm a bit late getting here, but HOLY MOLY. What are you feeding that child?
    Hilarious, I laughed so much I nearly choked!

  42. Yep! Thank God she's out of nappies!

  43. Ella - Oh no - it doesn't trump yours at all. Every poo story is worthy of a giggle. You just can't beat a good poo story...

    Sandy - Oh my little Edie has always loved her food. She'll eat anything!!

    OP - I know - not sure it's the sort of reputation I should be proud of, but hey, if you can't beat it, join it...or something like that!

    Louise - Hello and welcome! Forgive my poo post - (I don't always write about poo)...well alright then, I do...And yes, it wasn't long agho she was still in nappies, so I'm counting my lucky stars it ended up in the loo!

  44. I am giggling soooo much right now!!! Thanks for the cheer up! My four year old has done some that her father would be proud of :-S

    Mel xxx

  45. Shabby - Glad I made you laugh instead of gag!! Always better. Yep, I dread to think of the size Edie's might be when she's 4!

  46. Wow. And like you, I am pondering how on earth that would have fitted into a nappy!

  47. Iota - It wouldn't have really wouldn't - which is why I'm thanking my lucky stars!!

  48. I just HAVE to put a comment here so that you have 50 of them. Didn't I say that poo and wee create the most comments! (just snuck another peek at that poo!!!)

  49. Ladybird - Oh how I love you for doing that!! And yes, I agreed with you all the way. Write about poo - 50 comments. Write about something heartfelt and serious - get 15 comments!! Always the way...

  50. I have somehow managed to avoid this until now - and just gagged on my tea! :-)

  51. Hot Cross - Oh I'm so glad you saw it...imagine missing that? Your life just wouldn't have been the same... :-)) xx