tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-293793938766074805.post605168042274863170..comments2024-01-12T00:43:40.037+00:00Comments on Maternal Tales from the South Coast: Why a massage is never really that relaxingMaternal Taleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04075679022964297682noreply@blogger.comBlogger49125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-293793938766074805.post-23425759083571908692009-10-27T21:23:48.404+00:002009-10-27T21:23:48.404+00:00Sparx - I think that's my favourite comment ev...Sparx - I think that's my favourite comment ever. Love you too xxxMaternal Taleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04075679022964297682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-293793938766074805.post-13048818055557730412009-10-24T11:16:26.306+01:002009-10-24T11:16:26.306+01:00Ok, you are fucking brilliant... it's official...Ok, you are fucking brilliant... it's official.Sparxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04075991922896922279noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-293793938766074805.post-59225250368432567682009-10-07T22:27:50.302+01:002009-10-07T22:27:50.302+01:00Roni - Do you know what? Exactly the same thing h...Roni - Do you know what? Exactly the same thing has happened to me before (I mean what was I thinking even going back for another?) It was so strange - it wasn't even in Thailand - it was here in Brighton! I had a pregnancy massage and she massaged my boobs - I was exactlt the same as you - I was too shocked to ask her what she was doing so just pretended it was normal. But it's only ever happened once so I can't work out whether it was part of the massage or not. Very strange. And not much fun either!Maternal Taleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04075679022964297682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-293793938766074805.post-41641103313925572702009-10-07T21:14:11.788+01:002009-10-07T21:14:11.788+01:00God, that was so funny, but have to admit that I d...God, that was so funny, but have to admit that I don't batter an eyelid now after experiencing the most embarrassing massage in Thailand one year. <br /><br />There the Thai lady actually massaged my breasts!! I didn't know what to do with myself so,not wanting to appear prudish, I just held my breath and convinced myself that this was normal here....god I couldn't get out of there fast enough! Roni xronihttp://www.ourlittleadventures.co.uknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-293793938766074805.post-47700812366915798422009-10-03T19:22:25.546+01:002009-10-03T19:22:25.546+01:00Mamma Po - Oh you poor thing - that sounds just as...Mamma Po - Oh you poor thing - that sounds just as excrutiating. What is it with us Brits - we can't say when we don't liek something?! Actually just read someone else's blog post about what sounds like that exact same treatment - have a read - it's very funny (almost as funny as mine as it happens) - http://iknowineedtostoptalking.blogspot.com/2009/10/five-star-luxury.html<br /><br />And thanks honey - am feeling much better now. Just finished 5 day course of antibiotics for the teeth. But yes, think it's this time of year - it always gets me. Bye bye Summer :-(((<br /><br />Rosie - Oh it's just excrutiating. Has always been my dread. Thank goodness it was my friend and not me hey?! Hee hee.<br /><br />SAHM-I-AM - Oh deary me - I think that migth actually be worse. Your poor, ahem, friend! Hope you feeling better honey x<br /><br />WoB - I know - I'm sorry. I think I may need to start blogging about something else. Can't think what though! Nice saying - never heard that one...but I do remember one that went liek this 'Why fart and waste it, when you can burp and taste it'!! Ooh I think we could be good friends...<br /><br />nixdminx - Oh love I'm sorry I made you cringe. No, wasn't loud at all. Didn't even make a sound (or at least that's what my friend told me)!!! And yep, you can come to yoga with me, just try to sit a good distance away! xMaternal Taleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04075679022964297682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-293793938766074805.post-7936542844288462122009-10-03T12:40:18.617+01:002009-10-03T12:40:18.617+01:00that's hysterical althought the metaphor of an...that's hysterical althought the metaphor of an elephant in the room and your fart leaves me cringing - was it a loud whoopi cushion one? well, you were obviously very relaxed, although I'd think twice about going to yoga with you - tee heee hee xnixdminxhttp://www.nixdminx.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-293793938766074805.post-8139579364536803852009-10-03T10:21:06.048+01:002009-10-03T10:21:06.048+01:00You and bodily functions eh? Your obsessed woman ...You and bodily functions eh? Your obsessed woman haha i LOVE it!!! just remember "it's better to fart and stink a little than hold it in and be a cripple, wether in church or chapel let it rattle" :)<br />I'm the same with any "pamper" session they're just too much hassle to get yourself ready for that they actually bring on boutts of stress.The wife of boldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08829458934561423342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-293793938766074805.post-63839764107950630642009-10-03T02:22:58.128+01:002009-10-03T02:22:58.128+01:00Wickedly funny post. Thanks. I needed that. Remind...Wickedly funny post. Thanks. I needed that. Reminded me of ... um ... a good friend of mine who was in the throes of passion with her hubby when the urge to fart just would not subside. Talk about a mood stiffler.cynthiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03889400852860660437noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-293793938766074805.post-82569007030126975972009-10-02T22:19:16.818+01:002009-10-02T22:19:16.818+01:00That is just so funny and the sort of thing that w...That is just so funny and the sort of thing that would happen to me, It happened at the hairdresses once and that was bad enough!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-293793938766074805.post-47419508444678641802009-10-02T21:22:51.281+01:002009-10-02T21:22:51.281+01:00PS. Sorry to hear you've been feeling rubbish...PS. Sorry to hear you've been feeling rubbish. I think it's that time of year isn't it, back to school stress/autumn chills etc. Hope you feel better the soonest xxxxxMamma Pohttp://mammapo.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-293793938766074805.post-88094590978641619522009-10-02T21:20:54.890+01:002009-10-02T21:20:54.890+01:00What are you like, MT? If it's not poo tales,...What are you like, MT? If it's not poo tales, it's the next best thing eh?!! ;-) Anyway, hopefully the lovely essential massage oils disguised any suspicious odours...<br /><br />I do know what you mean about the massage thing though. Isn't it ridiculous that something that's meant to be really relaxing should make us so fraught! I had at treatment once where the therapist wrapped me up in this electric-blanket/cocoon whilst she gave me a facial and head massage. This amazing invention was divinely comforting and cosy for about 3 blissful minutes. After enthusing about its warmth and snugness for, well, those 3 short minutes, I then spent the remaining 57 minutes feeling like I was suffocating beneath its hot and heavy embrace. Naturally was far too much of a wimp to actually speak up after lavishing such praise on the thing.<br /><br />But still was not as mortifying as a massage long ago with, SURPRISE, a male masseur. He was rather good-looking but knew it and came across as a bit creepy in his unctious attentiveness. He also seemed to know a scary amount about womens' bodies and spent about 20 minutes 'massaging' my buttocks with great enthusiasm. Although vaguely pleasurable, it just felt WRONG and I never went back. EVER.<br /><br />XxxxMamma Pohttp://mammapo.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-293793938766074805.post-60717720206194925362009-10-01T22:49:03.158+01:002009-10-01T22:49:03.158+01:00KT - How very lovely of you!! Of course I don'...KT - How very lovely of you!! Of course I don't mind you adding me...and yes, thanks to the fabulous Josie. Hairy tongue though??? God I hope not, although I haven't checked it for a while. I'll look in the mirror tonight. Fingers crossed and all that...<br /><br />miss leslieanne - Oh you are a darling. Thank you kind lady. I know - massages are strangely intrusive - I mean, why do we think it's normal for someone we don't know to be rubbing our bottoms??? Hmmmm. I think I'll try a head massage next time. xMaternal Taleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04075679022964297682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-293793938766074805.post-54796197817281319132009-10-01T21:07:43.671+01:002009-10-01T21:07:43.671+01:00so funny!
no matter how crappy my day's been, ...so funny!<br />no matter how crappy my day's been, i can count on your blog to make me giggle :)<br /><br />Personally, have never had a massage, I just can't stand the thought of a stranger pummelling at me all nudie... *shiver!* :P<br /><br />Hope the dentist went okay xxmiss leslieannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12310810671926711685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-293793938766074805.post-51162252171540280762009-10-01T19:51:09.232+01:002009-10-01T19:51:09.232+01:00Goodness I love your blog. I've added you to m...Goodness I love your blog. I've added you to my links on mine; I hope you don't mind. A big thanks to Josie at Sleep is for the Weak for pointing me your way. Fabulously funny.<br /><br />Oh - and antibiotics for tooth abcess? Beware the perils of black hairy tongue ... or is it only me who gets given one with that as a listed side effect?!<br /><br />Kathryn xKThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16052708770041319402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-293793938766074805.post-46549559001802509132009-10-01T12:07:15.072+01:002009-10-01T12:07:15.072+01:00Muddy - Hi there - and thanks for stopping by. Ye...Muddy - Hi there - and thanks for stopping by. Yep, kind of on the up thanks. Got antibiotics for the tooth in the end!<br /><br />Iota - Oh darling I'm so sorry. Surely they wouldn't be like that for everyone?? xxx<br /><br />Grit - Yes, you're probably right. Dentist turned out to be far less painful!Maternal Taleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04075679022964297682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-293793938766074805.post-78684915039052495232009-10-01T07:53:08.385+01:002009-10-01T07:53:08.385+01:00between the massage and the dentist? after that, i...between the massage and the dentist? after that, i'll take the dentist!Grithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14022216340604423686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-293793938766074805.post-80872383348302550592009-10-01T01:52:24.469+01:002009-10-01T01:52:24.469+01:00You're so funny! I think you've just spoil...You're so funny! I think you've just spoiled massages for me forever.Iota https://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-293793938766074805.post-9335880821120442432009-09-30T18:03:25.184+01:002009-09-30T18:03:25.184+01:00First time I have visited..now I must follow. Hila...First time I have visited..now I must follow. Hilarious. Hope you are feeling better...How I Like My Coffeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01820095194342504687noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-293793938766074805.post-69677368874761520782009-09-30T14:55:08.240+01:002009-09-30T14:55:08.240+01:00Green Stone Woman - Ooh yes - being paid to have a...Green Stone Woman - Ooh yes - being paid to have a massage - that would help the embarrassment I'm sure! Just lying there sqirming as they squelch your flesh is not much fun. I'm with you...<br /><br />GG - Thanks for the advice honey - it's ok - dentist passed by with no little incidents fortunately, although I did have an absess and am now taking antibiotics! :-(<br /><br />That Girl - Yep, Lady Mama above suggested a scalp/head massage too. Will try one - although, yes, shouldn't think I'll be able to go anywhere afterwards for fear of chip fat hair. Worth a try though x<br /><br />PHM - Oh Peggy - I do so love you. Thank you. I'm so glad I made your day ;-)) x<br /><br />Matt - It funny cos during the massage my 'friend', ahem, was thinking it must be even worse for guys...because, well, you know, as well as worrying about all the things that I (sorry, I mean my friend) worried about, guys have even more erm...worries about things not happening, if you know what I mean! I can't say I'd find it even remotely relaxing...<br /><br />Irish Mammy - Oh darling you're so welcome. I'm sorry you're all ill. How hideous for you. But glad that my post cheered you up at least for a moment! Get better soon my dear xxMaternal Taleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04075679022964297682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-293793938766074805.post-53846223973935018512009-09-30T12:54:47.583+01:002009-09-30T12:54:47.583+01:00Amy - Oh no - you can't say that and then not ...Amy - Oh no - you can't say that and then not tell me what happened! I shall be imagining all sorts of things. Of course, if you told me then I wouldn't need to imagine!<br /><br />Mrs Brig - Ooh great to get it from the other side of the couch, so to speak. Yes, I know therapists must see all sorts of things - not quite sure it makes it any easy to bear though. But vomit mid-passage??? OMG - what on earth happened??? Better that than fainting I suppose. Or is it? Do tell...<br /><br />Reasons - I know - lucky hey?! I felt so sorry for my poor friend ;-)) I'll tell her to ask for perfume next time I think!<br /><br />magnumlady - You're so right - such a good job it wasn't the kiddies hey? We could have been in all sorts of bother. And yes, you do feel a bit violated having a massage - not sure it's my favourite thing to do! Thanks for mentioning the tooth - have an absess and am taking antibiotics now. It's slowly starting to get better...<br /><br />Sandy - Oh what a good idea. Yes, reminds me of a joke I once used to tell where this guy goes for a smart lunch with his parents in law. He farts, they shout 'Spot' (which is the name of the dog lying under the table). He thinks he's got away with it, and that they think it's the dog who's farting, so he farts again. They shout 'Spot' even louder. He starts to relax, thinking just one more might relieve his terrible wind...so farts one last time. And then they shout 'Spot, get out from under the table before he shits on you'. Used to make me laugh that joke!Maternal Taleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04075679022964297682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-293793938766074805.post-28546489404153714542009-09-30T12:39:20.383+01:002009-09-30T12:39:20.383+01:00Brighton Mum - I know - it sounds like a good idea...Brighton Mum - I know - it sounds like a good idea in theory (also suggested by Zoo above), but my husband has the attention span of a gnat amd even though it's a possibility he might learn about what to do, I just know he'd get bored and give up after 5 minutes. Like I said to Zoo, I might have to suggest to my 'friend' that she sticks with the professionals (and refrains from eating a curry the night before any future sessions)!<br /><br />whistlejacket - Wow - that was tactful of her!! But yes, I always seem to put therapists off having children - I can't imagine why though!!<br /><br />Mwa - Bless you darling. Thanks for being such a love. Glad it made you laugh ;-) xx<br /><br />Lady Mama - Thanks for the suggestion. yes, will definitely pass that on to my, er, 'friend'. Sounds lovely. Yep, may give up on body massages altogether...far too stressful.<br /><br />Muddling - Ooh enjoy - although if you do, erm, fart (!) at least you'll have an excuse. Pregnancy does all sorts of things to women's tummies. xMaternal Taleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04075679022964297682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-293793938766074805.post-58151463626630941152009-09-30T12:26:41.540+01:002009-09-30T12:26:41.540+01:00Josie - I just love your comments too. And yep, i...Josie - I just love your comments too. And yep, it's always something that slightly concerns me - although, of course it's never happened...ahem. Shame it's not exactly relaxing. Next time I won't eat the day before. Sorry, I mean next time I'll tell my 'friend' not to eat the day before!<br /><br />Victoria - hee hee - yes it was me - that pesky fly on the wall last time you had a massage!! And yep, am always apologising for the state of my hairy legs when I do something like that (even when I go in for a wax, which it has to be said is rather a long time ago)!!<br /><br />Met mum - I know, honey, I know. They're really gonna hate me. But they'll also know how much I love them, so I'm hoping they'll forgive me!! Fingers crossed hey. And kiddies, if you're reading this (a few years from now), I do so love you very much. And farting's normal really isn't it???<br /><br />Thanks for the comment sweetie - am glad you enjoyed it x<br /><br />angelsandurchins - Oh yay - so many 'friends' seem to have had the same thing happen. I'm so pleased for my 'friend' that people can empathise. Therapists viewpoint given further down in comments - see Mrs Brig's reply...<br /><br />Insomniac - I know - the poor love. I really felt for her when she told me ;-)Maternal Taleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04075679022964297682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-293793938766074805.post-70370374415263325862009-09-30T12:18:20.297+01:002009-09-30T12:18:20.297+01:00Who's the Mummy - Yes, yes, of course - it was...Who's the Mummy - Yes, yes, of course - it was very unfortunate for the person it happened to. Poor them. Phew. Glad it wasn't me. Very strange that the therapist could tell who had done your c-section - and lucky you for having 'Mr Neat'!!<br /><br />Zoo - Now that is a good idea - although hubby has the attention span of a flea and even if he'd been on a course he'd get bored after 5 minutes! Best send my 'friend' back to the professionals!<br /><br />Catharine - Oh phew - I'm so glad to hear that it's not just my 'friend' who's had such unfortunate experiences. My friend always liek a bit of empathy. Yes, wine a good idea for next time - will suggest to friend!<br /><br />imbeingheldhostage - Oh no - don't tear it to bits. You must go and face the humiliation that my 'friend' had to...sorry, I mean you must go and relax and have a wonderful time. Unfortunate incidents can't happen to everyone, can they?<br /><br />Laura - yep - I remember that post of yours well!! Am always worried something like that might happen at the osteopath too - especialy since I used to go a lot whilst pregnant...and we all know what pregnancy can do to tummys! Good job for both of us that it never happened (ahem)!!Maternal Taleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04075679022964297682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-293793938766074805.post-42880159272184686072009-09-30T09:33:34.781+01:002009-09-30T09:33:34.781+01:00That is so funny it just made me forget I have the...That is so funny it just made me forget I have the flu and so does my 2 year old and 4 month old. Thank you!Irish Mammyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06757346514998427835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-293793938766074805.post-24275142523155756902009-09-29T22:26:09.838+01:002009-09-29T22:26:09.838+01:00This post? Hilarious! As a guy who has enjoyed o...This post? Hilarious! As a guy who has enjoyed one or two deep tissue massages I can definitely relate to what you're talking about. Seems like I spend most of the drive to the spa not being able to wait for my massage and most of the drive home being glad its over.Matt Pfingstenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06493680732451883530noreply@blogger.com